Family Volley

Family Volley Photo Challenge-Week 7-"Close-Up"

2012-02-15T00:20:00.001-07:00

Hard to believe that we have been doing this for 7 weeks already. I have been so thankful for these posts each week. It is working, I am slowing down and enjoying the everyday family moments more. I hope the same is happening in your house.

If you are just learning about the photo challenge, or are feeling behind. Don't worry. You can jump in at any time. And even if you are not taking photos, come look at the photos that are being posted in the Family Volley Flickr group. They are fantastic, they will inspire you to jump on board.

This week is all about CLOSE-UP, and this photo is really really close up. This was a very happy moment. It was just the baby and me at home. As I looked at the two of us in the mirror, I was overwhelmed by gratitude for the opportunity to be a mother, and for her sweet spirit. When she is asleep I miss her and want her to wake up, when she is awake I can't hold her close enough and don't want to put her down.

Next Week's Challenge (February 22) - "Childhood Memory"

Summer Camp-Could you send your child?

2012-02-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

Although not a normal post for Family Volley, excuse me for a minute while we post about a crazy cool opportunity for our son.

When ever I am on the computer, our son loves to read over my shoulder. As I was checking my email today he saw the words summer camp, and was instantly curious.
"Can I read that?" I said "Sure."
"I would love to go to that summer camp", he said. "Can I"?

And so, we are entering him to win a trip to Catalina to for a summer session at Catalina Island Camps (hosted by the SITSGirls). He is crossing his fingers. I only have my fingers half crossed, I am a little nervous about the thought of him doing something so "grown up". If he won, I would have to get over my fears quick. The coolest part about the giveaway, the winner gets to take a friend. I would feel much better knowing that he was there with someone he knew. :)

8 reasons why our son would love to go to summer camp at Catalina Island Camp.

1. He would get to spend most of the day outside.

2. He would get to spend a lot of time swimming. His favorite thing to do in life.

3. He could live in his swimming suit for a whole week. Did I mention he likes to swim?

4. He has been telling us lately that he is growing up and should be able to do more on his own. This would be the ultimate opportunity to grow.

5. He could try new things like snorkeling, rock climbing, sailing and shooting.

6. He could learn about conservation and composting. He has been trying to get us to recycle for years.

7. He could make new friends. Maybe even a penpal. He has always wanted a penpal.

8. He wouldn't have to share anything with his sisters. (He is a good "sharer" but I know that sometimes he wishes they would keep their distance from his precious belongings :))

The only problem, am I strong enough to let him go? I am having a hard time with the fact that he is going with his basketball team to an NBA game (45 minutes away) this weekend. Looks like I am the one that needs to grow up.

I scoured the Catalina Island Website before I agreed to enter. I was immediately impressed by not only the facility, but that the camp is Accredited. To be honest, if he wins, I hope he chooses to take me with him. I could really use a week on the water.

Could you send your kids "away" to summer camp? To another state?
Did you ever go to summer camp?

I am entering to win a session of summer camp for a child at Catalina Islands Camps from TheSitsGirls.

Bertolli Weeknight Challenge-A Photo Booth Dinner

2012-02-11T23:19:00.000-07:00

Dinner is really important around these parts. My husband and I both feel that eating together is one of the best ways to make sure our family connects with one another each day. As our family has grown, meal time is getting more and more tricky. Our kids are starting to have activities that get them home later, we have a baby at the dinner table who requires extra attention and care, and we are juggling more schedules than ever before.

The hour right before dinner is always hectic. Picking up kids, starting homework, and getting dinner on the table can be a big challenge. I am always looking for dinners that are quick, easy, and delicious.

Although family dinner is always a work in progress at our house, here are three tips that can help us all make the most of meal time.

1. Be Intentional: Create a dinner ritual by eating dinner at the same time each day. Explain expectations so family members know they are expected to be at the dinner table. Try not to let activities or responsibilities interfere with this time. Get everyone involved in the prep and clean up, and start and end meal time the same way. In our house, we always start with a blessing on the food. We end with everyone (who is old enough), carrying their plates to the sink.

2. Plan Ahead: Starting to think about dinner at 5:00pm is always too late for me. Planning ahead makes dinner time less stressful and more fun for everyone. I used to be skeptical of meal plans, until I started using one. Planning ahead means I spend much less time standing in front of the fridge, with the doors open, wondering what to fix.

3. Keep Dinner Happy: Dinner is not the time to bring up all the things the kids have done wrong, or talk about how you are going to pay upcoming bills. It is a time to be together, communicate, laugh, share and eat. Save the discipline and financial stress for another time. Otherwise, our kids will never want to come home for dinner.

The Challenge: Try a new Bertolli Meal Soup, make our meal into a stand-out special dinner, and do it all in an hour or less.

You can find the soup in the frozen section of your favorite grocery store. I picked ours up at our local SuperTarget. :)

Our family choose the Roasted Chicken & Rotini Pasta. Feeding my husband and I, and three young children, I knew we would need two bags. I also prepared a basic green salad and garlic bread to go with the soup.

The instructions claimed it would only take about 10 minutes to have a delicious soup ready to eat.

I emptied the contents of the bag into a saucepan and then added 1 cup of water. That was it.

After bringing it all to a boil, and letting it simmer, covered for 5 minutes, I lifted the lid and this is what I found. A delicious soup ready to eat. It was full of veggies (my favorite part of any soup), pasta, and chicken. It looked and smelled great.

While it was cooking, I cut up some veggies for our salad, and broiled some Garlic Bread.

To make it a stand out, special dinner, I decided to grab our "bucket" of photo booth props. I made them for our daughter's birthday party not too long ago. I have been wanting to "play" with the props as a family, and knew this would be the perfect night.

I pulled out our fancy chargers, and set the table while our son got the camera and tripod. I had all the kids pick their favorite props and put them next to their plates as decorations. The extra's were put in the middle as a centerpiece. Then the fun began.

We sat down to eat, and it was delicious. I couldn't believe that I was eating a frozen soup. I was worried about the noodles being mushy, and the chicken being "iffy".

I couldn't have been more wrong. The noodles were a perfect al-dente, and the chicken and veggies were fresh. The broth was perfectly seasoned. Rave reviews came from everyone at the table. Even our three year old loved it. She said the veggies were "just her size".

After we cleared the plates, everyone grabbed their props and headed to the front room. We had a lot of fun posing and taking pictures.

When we were done, as I was tucking our daughter into bed she said, "Mom, that was the most fun dinner ever. Can we do that every night?"

In one hour I made a delicious dinner, our family ate it, and we were able to spend some quality time having fun together. Not bad for a busy weeknight.

I really needed to open my eyes in this picture. Or else get more sleep. :)

We loved the Bertolli Frozen Meal Soup and I plan on putting into my monthly meal plan rotations. What a quick, delicious, and affordable way to get dinner on the table. Leaving our family more time to be together.

About Bertolli Meal Soups.

Bertolli Frozen Meal Soups are hearty and fresh-tasting with vegetables, meats, pasta and herbs that are individually flash frozen at the peak of freshness.

Bertolli Frozen Meal Soups are available in the frozen aisle, and can be prepared on your stove top in minutes. There is even a store locator on their website, so you can check out exactly what stores in your area carry the product.

Bertolli Frozen Meal Soups are available in four varieties: Tuscan-Style Beef with Vegetables, Chicken Minestrone, Roasted Chicken & Rotini Pasta, and Tomato Florentine & Tortellini with Chicken.

You can connect with Bertolli in a number of different ways.
Bertolli on Facebook
Follow them on Twitter and follow along with hashtag #BertolliMealSoup.
Check out the Bertolli website to see all their products, find a store near you, and even get meal planning suggestions.

I was compensated by Bertolli to participate in the Weeknight Meal Special Challenge. All opinions and statements are my own.

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Out on a Limb!

2012-02-10T00:43:00.000-07:00

This is THE perfect game to help your family work together and problem solve. Remember, working together in a fun activity will help our families work together when other challenges come our way also.

You don't need any materials for this activity. Just choose a starting line and a finish line 20 feet apart. Your whole family will want to play at the same time, making one group. If you have more than about 5 or 6 people in your family, then consider splitting up into two groups.

Goal: Successfully travel across the room fulfilling the exact requirements of each challenge (each Round).

Rules: Your family will learn to support each other while using a specified number of arms and legs to travel 20 feet. All group members must participate and must be connected to each other during the entire journey.

How to Play:
Travel the 20 feet in the exact manner listed below for each round (no more limbs, and no less limbs).

Round 1: 5 feet must be used to travel across the floor (Example, if you have 5 people in your family/group, everyone would link arms together and hop on one leg across the floor. So, there would be 5 feet used to travel the distance. If you had 4 people in your family. The group would link arms together and one person would walk on both feet, while the other 3 people hopped on one foot. Make Sense?)

Round 2: 4 feet and 4 hands.

Round 3: 4 feet and 3 hands

Round 4: Only 3 feet and 2 hands on the floor.

This is the perfect activity for any size family, and for group settings also.

Your family will be more cohesive as they accomplish these 4 rounds together.

Have Fun, and have a great weekend!

p.s. Sorry to be MIA this week. I seem to be behind in life, and the blog ends up getting the raw end of the deal.

Family Volley Photo Challenge- Week 6- RED

2012-02-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

These RED sleds are a glaring reminder that we haven't had any snow this year. At all. They have been abandoned for the tree swings. I think the kids have given up on sledding for the year. They are already talking about the swimming pool.

I went out to take the picture by myself. It was quiet. It is the first picture I have ever taken on Manual setting. I don't know if it made a difference, but I like it.

Next Weeks Challenge (February 15): CLOSE-UP

How To Be A "Fun Mom"

2012-02-09T09:20:00.008-07:00

Last week our daughter was putting on her shoes. Out of the blue she looked up and said,

"Mom, sorry to say, but Dad is more fun than you".

Yep, that's what she said. Let's be honest, it hurt a little.

My husband was in the room and said to our daughter, "You don't know your mom very well then, because she is the most fun person I know." (It was nice of him to say, hope it wasn't a token gesture.)

It's true. My husband is the fun one. He is all about fun. He doesn't worry about rules or schedules too much and is much more easy going than I am. I am more practical. I think I feel like I have to be because he is so easy going. I think I have become more practical to keep a balance.

A good example, Bedtime. I stick to bedtime. I enforce it. We read books and have fun, but we get it done, on time.

My husband's idea of bedtime is reading 20 books, and turning the lights out 2 hours late because they have played hide and seek and wrestled on the bed.

I know, I know, his way sounds more fun to me also.

I have a hard time letting go of the responsibility. I am fun, I have the thoughts and the promptings to be fun, but sometimes it can be really hard to actually "be fun".

I feel like I have been less fun lately. As our kids get older and life gets busier, maybe I have traded in some of the "fun", for the "getting it all done."

Since our daughter's comment, I have made a conscious effort to be more myself, and have more fun. I want my kids to know that I enjoy being a mom. Because I really do. I love it.

Want to be a FUN MOM? Here are some things we can do...

This girl is just like her dad. All about fun...all the time!

#1 Way to be a FUN MOM- Spend time with your kids. That will make you the most fun mom on the planet!!!

Then...

Let Your Guard Down - RELAX!
Stop worrying about looking silly, sounding silly, or being perfect. Relax and smile. They are our kids, they are not judging us, just looking for us to love them and spend time with them. Living life up-tight, is not really living life.

Use Your Strengths - Be Yourself
I can fold a mean paper airplane and make a perfect cootie catcher. I shared this with our kids and they thought it was the coolest thing ever. It is a secret talent of mine. They thought I was so fun. I am also really good at cartwheels. Last week I demonstrated my cartwheel abilities to the kids. They were in awe. They are easy to please, but still. They thought I was fun. :) I am also pretty good in the kitchen, and can color a mean picture. I like to outline all the pictures and then color lighter inside the outline. The kids think that style is really cool.

It's not about what other moms are doing, or about doing it all. We don't have to be something we are not. Instead, look at your strengths and talents and use them to your advantage. What do/did you like to do? What are you good at?

I am not really comfortable talking in silly voices. I love the make believe and pretend, just not the silly changing of voices part. I always felt guilty because I didn't like talking silly with my kids. I shouldn't feel bad. So it's not one of my strengths. I have lots of other strengths. It's okay.

Use your talents, even if they are off the wall, goofy or silly.

As a kid, I had a talent/skill for jumping up on a shopping cart and riding it forever. So every time I push a shopping cart, I want to jump up on the back and take a little ride. Why not? So last week I started to jog with the cart, jumped up on the back and took a little ride with the kids. Our two oldest were running along side. You should have seen them laugh. Our son got in the car and said, "How did you get so good at that." Lot's of practice in the Scolari's Parking Lot. Yep, I know how to do lots of fun stuff.

My mom can make the coolest monkey face. I don't know how to explain it, but it's good. I used to think it was so cool when she did the face. It was one of her secret little talents, and I loved when she shared it with us. Now our kids think grandma's monkey face is cool too.

Be Spontaneous-Break the Rules
Do something out of the ordinary. Read extra books at bed time, have hot chocolate after teeth are brushed, stay up to watch a movie, an unplanned trip to the park, let your child have a bowl of cereal before bed, eat dessert first, jump on the couch. Say yes when you would normally say no. It's okay.

What can you do today, that is unexpected?

Follow Along
Watch what your kids are doing, and follow along. Play house, color, swing, chase around the house. Follow their lead, and not only will they think you are fun, but you will really have fun. Are they acting silly, then act silly. We sometimes worry about what we are going to do with our kids. No worries, they will take care of that part for us.

I learned this lesson today. Our two oldest kids have been playing this game they made up.
Our son will say our daughters name, trying to get her to say "what"
When she says "what", he says, "you're in a bug".
She tries to do the same to him.

Yeah, it makes no sense at all, but they play it non-stop.

I was getting frustrated with the game. No one was getting anything done and enough was enough. But... Instead of nagging for the game to end (nagging moms are not fun moms), I said our son's name tonight. When he said "what", I said, "you're in a bug".
At first he was shocked, then they both laughed and laughed. We played for a few more minutes, and then they naturally stopped. All they needed was some validation, for me to play along. And just between you and me, it was actually really fun. :) I followed their lead and played along. In this case, it was also spontaneous, and they were not expecting me to jump in.

Turn on the Tunes - Dance
Want to be more fun? Move. Dance. Jive. Boogie. Unlike our friends in high school, Kids don't judge your dance moves. They don't care.

I have made it a secret goal this year to dance with at least one of our kids everyday. (Guess it's not a secret anymore). Yesterday I danced with our 8 month old in my arms in front of the mirror. She loved it! Today I grabbed our daughters arms and started to twirl her in the kitchen. When my husband came home tonight, she ran to him to tell him how much fun we had dancing around.

When was the last time you danced with your kids?

Don't Multitask
Want to be more fun? Stop trying to do more than one thing at a time. Being with our children becomes frustrating when we are also trying to make dinner, check Pinterest, and fold laundry. All of a sudden, it feels like our kids are hindering us from what we are trying to do and we don't enjoy our time together. That isn't very fun. One thing at a time.

Say "Yes"
As mom's we can find ourselves saying "no" an awful lot. That doesn't make us very fun. "No's" are necessary, but we should try to say "yes" as much as we can. This is hard for me. "Mom, can I have another piece of gum?" I want to say no. They don't need it, they already had one, it isn't necessary. BUT... will it really hurt if they have a second piece sometimes? Of course not.

Sometimes I have an agenda, that I feel is the best, and our kids want to do things in a different order, and I want to say "No". Fact of the matter, does the order really matter? Usually it doesn't. So think about the 90/10 rule and apply it to "yes and no." Can you say "yes" 90% of the time?

What can you say "yes" to today?

Laugh
Laughter is great medicine. Want your kids to think you are really fun? Laugh with them. Having trouble laughing? Put a smile on your face for starters. You will be more fun when you smile, and then you will laugh.

I often have the thought, "I can't have fun with you, because then things won't get done around here". Nothing could be farther from the truth. When I have fun with our kids, more gets done, I feel better and so do they. And...they are more likely to help with a willing attitude which lightens my load.

Now, let's all go be FUN MOMS.

Are you a FUN MOM? What do you do?
What is your secret talent?

Cinderella Ate My Daughter

2012-02-03T01:49:00.000-07:00

We have three girls (and one boy). I always hoped, because I was a girl, I would be ready to raise girls. Until I had them. Times are very different from when I was young, and the pressures on our girls are immense. I thought the pressure was bad for me, but now it is worse. Our oldest daughter just turned 7 and she is bombarded with pressure from the media and from her peers. I can already see how society is telling her that how she looks matters more than who she is.

I just finished reading a book called "Cinderella Ate My Daughter", written by Peggy Orenstein. The New York Times Bestselling book documents the authors struggle to raise a daughter who is self-confident and happy amid a world that encourages little girls to surround themselves in nothing but pink and tiaras while they dream of the fairy tale romance.

Orenstein wants the same thing for her daughter, that we all want for our girls. We want them to grow up healthy, happy and confident, with a clear sense of their own potential and the opportunity to fulfill it. But she argues that our girls are growing up in a world that tells them that regardless of their age, the surest way to accomplish their goals, is to look like Cinderella.

Is there something wrong with Cinderella? Is there something wrong with all the pink and glitter and fairy tale? Orenstein has done her research and clearly illustrates how society has created and pushed this Cinderella mentality.

It seems that wrong or right, these societal ideals and influences make companies money, so it doesn't look like things are going to change any time soon.

Studies show that young girls today face more pressure than ever to be "princess perfect". Not only do they have to get straight A's, but they have to be fashionable, beautiful and kind. They are exposed to media that makes them worry about being pretty and sexy, and a study from the University of Minnesota has even found that advertisements have a negative impact on girl's self-esteem.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the truth of all of this. I would hope that executives at Disney and Mattel don't sit around in their board meetings thinking of ways to sexualize young girls. But "princess perfect" sells and so it is naturally going to be pushed on our daughters.

Although society is targeting our young girls, we are still their parents, and responsibility lies on us. We want to blame the media, but ultimately, as parents, we do have a final say.

So how can we help? What can we as parents do to help our girls deal with the pink Cinderella pressure?

1. Watch what we say.
As parents, we need to make sure that our comments don't teach our girls that success and happiness is defined by how we look and what we wear. This applies to the comments we make about ourselves and our looks, as well as the comments we make about others.

2. Praise our girls for their strengths and effort.
This goes along with the first point. If you have a girl, monitor what you say to her in a 24 hour period. What is the focus of your comments? Naturally we comment on how cute they are, "you look so pretty", "I love your dress."
Instead of commenting on their looks, praise and comment on the effort they put into things and for the areas they are strong. Society will bombard them with feelings about clothes and looks. As parents we need to teach them they are strong and capable.

3. Give them challenges.
Provide challenges for our girls. Kids don't wake up and think "I am going to make myself do something hard today". We have to help provide them with challenges that they can overcome. This helps them believe in themselves and translates into future challenge. It builds their worth, based on their talents, abilities, and work ethic, instead of their looks and clothes. It also helps them keep a sense of reality.

4. Love them
Whether they like Cinderella or not. Keep your arms wide open at all times so that kids know they are loved.

Want to read Cinderella Ate my Daughter? You can follow Peggy on her Website, her Facebook page, and her Twitter account.

Do your girls feel the pressure to be a "pretty princess?
Do you think society pressures our girls?

Family Volley Photo Challenge-Week 5-Guilty Pleasure

2012-02-01T15:33:00.000-07:00

This Week's Challenge-Guilty Pleasure

I am a very poor example of slowing down this week. Hence the reason this post is just going up. I finally just put everything down, enlisted the help of our 3 year old and asked her to help me build a tower.

"Yay yay, I love building towers." she said.

"What will make a tower?" she asked.

"Fabric" I said.

Yep, that is my guilty pleasure. Although I have not been able to fully indulge my guilty pleasure yet, I pick up what I can here and there. One day I want to have a room bursting with fabric. In fact, I daydream about sitting at the sewing machine and making skirts and blankets and doll clothes, pillows and drapes and gifts for the neighbors.

Fabric is my Guilty Pleasure.

Ahhhh! Look at the colors.

Can't wait to see your guilty pleasure.

In honor of the Month of Love, Next Week's Challenge (February 8) - RED

Non-Medicated OR Medicated, DOES NOT A MOTHER MAKE!

2012-01-30T00:04:00.004-07:00

This past week I was privy to a conversation between two women. One of the women told the other that to be a "real mother" you have to have your babies without pain medication, at home.
I had to turn away and bite my tongue, to not say something rude and off putting.

This is not the first time I have heard a statement like this.

Over the past 10 years I have had more than one woman tell me, that I am less of a mother because of my personal choices when it comes to giving birth.

Wow, the implications of statements like this are monumentally destructive.

There is not room for this type of judgement if we want to be successful mothers and women. We need to support one another, uplift one another, and stop judging one another.

Shouldn't we feel much gratitude for all of the options that we as women have when it comes to our families? There are options today that our mothers and grandmothers never dreamed of. So many options that even after having 4 children, I am naive to the possibilities of them all.

We get to choose, each of us get to choose what we feel is best for our families. What a blessing! We should be rejoicing, not judging.

Just because a women "suffers" more pain during delivery than another women, does not make her better. Just because a women feels "no pain" during delivery does not make her better. Neither should be used to define the type of mother a woman is.

Is it really pain medication or location of delivery that determines if we are mothers?

Or, does the title of mother have more to do with our choices after our children are in our lives? Isn't that what makes a mother?
The never ending, never wavering love. The complete and endless sacrifice of all things. The giving of our time and energy and talents for their well being. The willingness to put aside any cares and concerns we have for ourselves, for our children.

Yep, let's be grateful that we can all choose, and stop judging other's choices. This will leave more time for us to raise our children and support the women around us.

Have you ever been judged because of your birthing choices?
Do you have an opinion on the subject?

Edit added February 1, 2012: There was a sincere effort with this post, a simply hope, for less judgment and more acceptance. It was not meant to support any specific birthing choice, or imply that one is better than the other. It was not written for validation. Hence the reason I left my own birthing choices out. I personally have given birth both ways, and have been criticized for both choices. The hope was that we could all be grateful for the fact that we can choose. What ever choice that might be. I know I am very grateful that I have been able to choose.

Family Volley Photo Challenge-Week 4-Your Daily Routine

2012-01-25T00:30:00.012-07:00

This Week's Challenge: Your Daily Routine

My Daily Routine starts and ends with this little one. And the trail of toys she leaves behind her.

I love all the colors here. It is how I feel about our kids. They bring so much "color" to everyday. Sometimes I get moving so fast I miss out on their vibrant energetic spirits. It is moments like this, when I look back at the photo, that I can see, color is all around. Color makes me happy.

Next Week's Challenge (February 1):Guilty Pleasure

Family Life-What Keeps Us From Being INTENTIONAL

2012-01-23T01:39:00.000-07:00

Our family back in 2008. Hard to believe we have added two girls to the family since then. Where does the time go?

SO... you have decided to be more INTENTIONAL with your family this year. Now what...where to start...what does this mean....what is next...?

Let me tell you.

Let's think about the drains that KEEP our families from being INTENTIONAL, so that we can know where to start...

Despite our best intentions as parents, The time family members spend outside their homes, and the technology inside our homes, keeps us from being INTENTIONAL.

How? It drains our families of time and opportunities to be together.

First: Time spent outside the home.
Now, don't get me wrong, we all have to leave the house, and we all have things to do. But...how is our family going to do things together, have dinner together, laugh together, work together, play together, if everyone is always away from home doing their own thing? It just can't happen.

In general families are over scheduled. Society tells us that our kids have to do everything, and that as parents we have to do everything too. Not true. If we want our families to be strong and successful, we need to do things together as a family.
It is time to evaluate the time we are spending away from home. A good rule of thumb is to have children in one maybe two, extra curricular activities. And the same goes for us as parents.

Second: Technology inside the home.
Technology is tricky. We might find that our family members are all at home at the same time, quite a bit. But...when you are all home is someone watching tv, someone on the computer, someone texting or on the phone, someone listening to their ipod, someone on Facebook? Sure we might all be home together, but we are all doing individual things, technology things. We might be under the same roof, but we are not together. There is little to no interaction or communication. This is even the case for spouses. My husband and I are usually always home together at night. But there was a time about two years ago, when we were together, but I was always on the laptop. I realized it was interfering with our ability to communicate and connect at the end of the day. Even though I thought I could, I really couldn't listen/talk to him and be on the computer at the same time. Sure, we were sitting on the same couch together, but we were not "together". Now the laptop stays in the other room.

Technology inside our homes will naturally keep us apart if we let it.

How do we overcome these drains?

First: Make better use of our time.
Think about the things that everyone in your family does. Do you all eat? Of course, everyone needs to eat. So why not eat together? If you can't do dinner, do breakfast. If you can't do breakfast, do brunch on Sundays.

Do you eat together but meals are chaotic and unorganized. (Seems like every meal is that way :)). Do a little more planning, make a meal schedule, start earlier in the day preparing, enlist everyone's help. Do what ever it takes to make the time together, better.

What else? Think about those things that you do together right now. Do you all work together in the house, or in the yard on Saturday mornings? Great, can you make it more special, memorable and important? Sure....Before you head out to work together, why not start a tradition of having a special pancake breakfast, or after working together come in and play a family game together. Do this every single Saturday and make it a ritual. Your kids will remember it their whole lives.

Even if you only have 15 minutes a day as a whole family. Make it the best 15 minutes possible. Be intentional about that time.

Second: Tame Technology and Carve time out from other activities.
Feel like you don't have any extra time for your family to be together. Tame technology and carve time out from other activities. This means turning off the TV, or the compter and putting that time towards family time. Think about it. If we just spent 15 minutes on Facebook instead of 30, that 15 minutes could go to family time. Same with our children and their video games or tv shows.
Where else in our schedules can we steal a few minutes? Step away from the technology and put that time towards being together.
We had a major discussion about this as a family last week. We usually do really well with not watching too much tv, but over the last 3 weeks or so, it was on more than usual. I could feel it stealing family time away from us. Last week we got back on track and reset the rules about tv watching. The extra time will now be spent playing games together. Yesterday our daughter said " this is way more fun than watching tv." She is right, it is "way more fun".

When we think about doing things together as a family, it is easy to get overwhelmed. Thinking we need to come up with more time and more money. That is not the case. Both of the above suggestions are very doable. Make better use of the time you already have together. Be more intentional about it. And second, turn off the technology and put that time to good use by doing things together as a family. The suggestions don't require any money, and they actually give you more time. They are small things that will transform our families.

Remember, being Intentional comes down to what we want the most, and then putting our energies and efforts towards that thing.

What time can you make better use of?
Do you think you can do this in your house?
Do you eat any meals together?

This year, in our family, and here on Family Volley, we are all about being INTENTIONAL. Why? Because it is the best, and it creates strong families. Want to read where it all starts? Click here to learn about you and your family's canoe. And click here to learn about the photo challenge that is helping us slow down and be more INTENTIONAL.

Family Volley Photo Challenge-Week 3-Hands

2012-01-18T00:05:00.000-07:00

This Weeks Challenge: Hand(s)

This hand belongs to the blue eyes below. She had fallen asleep in her car seat. Instead of hurrying to get her out and in her crib like I usually do, I SLOWED DOWN and took pictures. I couldn't resist her little hand wrapped around the handle. I usually worry about taking pictures when she is asleep, for fear it will wake her up. Not this time. The moment was more important.

Only 3 weeks into this challenge and I am already realizing, the moments will never return, I must take the time to "see" them now.

We spend a lot of time together, she and I. We see each other at least every three hours, day and night. :) I love it.

She likes to hold on to my hands when she falls asleep, one on each side of her face. When she nurses, her little hand slowly wiggles at my back. When she is full, and still, she puts that hand on my collar bone. That is when I know all is well and that her little body is content.

Her little hands remind me of what is really important in my life.

Next Weeks Challenge (January 25): Your Daily Routine

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Back Draw!

2012-01-13T00:08:00.000-07:00

You Will Need...
Paper
Pen/Pencil
List of clues (objects).

How to Play...
Form two teams.
If you have a small number of people, don't worry about teams.

Have each team sit on the floor (or in chairs) in a single file line, facing the same direction, back to front like a train.

With the group lined up, give the person in the back of the line an object to draw. Be sure that the rest of the teams don't hear the clue (word). Whisper quiet, or take them out of the room to tell them.

For example...let's say the clue is football. That person then sits down and draws a football on the BACK of the person in front of them with their finger. No talking or communicating.

Once they have drawn the football on the person's back, that person then draws what they thought was drawn on their back, on the back of the person in front of them.

This is passed down the train, person to person, back to back...until it reaches the team member at the front of the line/train.

The first person then takes the paper and pen and draws the object they think has been passed through the team and drawn on each person's back. So in this example, you would hope that the first person in line (the last person to have the clue drawn on their back), would draw a football.

Teams are not only racing, but the goal is to get the most words/clues, correct. The team to get the most clues correct, wins.

This game is great for kids and adults alike, and you can play with a little, or a lot of people.

Have a Great Weekend!

Family Volley Photo Challenge-Week 2-Your Favorite Shoes

2012-01-11T00:14:00.000-07:00

Wednesday has become my favorite day of the week because of the photo challenge. I loved last week. Be sure you join us, and check out the flicker group to see the self portraits from last week. Use a camera, use your phone, anything goes. Just SLOW DOWN for a few minutes and gain a new perspective by taking a picture. And if you want to upload more than one picture each week, go for it. Sometimes it is hard to decide, or you have two different perspectives that you want to share. Go for it.

I had lots of thoughts for this week. First I went with a pair of our three year old's shoes. I LOVE THEM, and find them on the floor next to her socks eve. ry. day. Ultimately, I went with a pair of shoes I have had for 10 years. They were the first thing I ever bought on eBay. They have seen happy days and sad days. They have never failed me. Just looking at them makes me smile.

After I took the picture, our 3 year old put my shoes on. She laid on the floor and started reading. I SLOWED DOWN and laid down next to her and we read and laughed together. When we were done, she gave me a hug and said "you are my best mommy ever". Yep, made my day. Shhhh, never mind I am her only mommy.

Next Weeks Challenge: Hands (January 18)

Love these shoes!

Our little girl decided to wear them around for a while. She is reading behind that tutu.

I wish they made these in my size!

Happy Wednesday. Can't wait to see your favorite shoes.

"Take A Deep Breath"-A Great Resource for ALL Parents

2012-01-10T23:06:00.000-07:00

When I am introduced to a "good thing", I want to share. The hope is always that it helps someone else like it has helped me. Remember the headband hair tutorial. :) Well, I have run into a fantastic book that every parent should have. I know I wish I would have had it when we had our first child.

When we had our son over 9 years ago, I worried about everything. EVERYTHING. As a new parent, with little experience, any deviations from what seemed "normal", was concerning. I remember the first time he got sick. He was stuffed up and having a hard time breathing. I didn't sleep at all that night. I laid on the floor next to his crib and listened all night, making sure that I could hear him breath.

I remember pulling out all my "baby books", looking for a resource that could tell me how worried I should be about him. Something to tell me about symtoms that should concern me, and when to call the doctor. I sure wish I had "Take a Deep Breath" back then. It would have calmed my fears, and helped me know how to handle the breathing and sickness. I would have gotten a lot more sleep. :)

"Take a Deep Breath" is a new book by Dr. Nina Shapiro. The entire book is about kids and breathing. The book is so well written, I have found myself reading though it just for fun even though no one in our house is sick or has a breathing problem at the moment. That is when you know a book is good.

At first, breathing made me think only of asthma. I was way off. This book is asthma and a million other things you question when you have a child. Broken up by age (newborn to 3 months, three months to one year, and one year to five years), "Take a Deep Breath" covers everything from sickness to choking to asthma and adenoids. Advice about feeding, and vaccines as well as runny noses. I used it as a reference last night because our daughter was snoring. I wondered if that was normal. Yep, it is.

It is written in a Question and Answer format and after reading it I had to laugh because I think I have asked nearly every question in the entire book. The other thing I love about this book is that each chapter ends with "The Big Picture" (a summary), "Don't Worry" which tells you what you don't have to worry about, and then "Worry". A section that tells you if you need to call a doctor and get help. Wheezing, croup, stuffy noses. All your questions are answered. And Dr. Shapiro is funny. I like funny.

Just having "Take a Deep Breath" in the house has let my husband and I breath easier. Research shows 80-90% of all children have a breathing problem, so Chances are, "Take a Deep Breath" will be helpful in your house too.

Do you have a child who snores?
Ever wonder when you should call the doctor?

About The Author:

Dr. Nina L. Shapiro is the Director of Pediatric Otolaryngology and an Associate Professor at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA. As the first fellowship-trained pediatric otolaryngologist at the medical center since it was founded in 1955; her presence has put UCLA ‘on the map’ in her field. A graduate of Harvard Medical School and Cornell University, College of Arts and Sciences (cum laude), she completed her surgical internship at Boston’s Beth Israel Hospital and her residency at The Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary, also in Boston. Shapiro completed additional subspecialty training in pediatric otolaryngology at The Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children in London and The Children’s Hospital of San Diego.

A native of New York, Shapiro has been honored with several prestigious awards including; The American Society of Pediatric Otolaryngology Charles Ferguson Award for Clinical Research, The UCLA Head and Neck Surgery Faculty Teaching Award and The American Academy of Pediatrics Young Investigators Award among others. She was named a “Super Doctor” by Los Angeles Magazine in 2008 and is listed in “Who’s Who in America”.

Shapiro is a Fellow of American Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery, The American Academy of Pediatrics and The American College of Surgeons. Other professional society memberships include: The American Society of Pediatric Otolaryngology, The American Rhinologic Society, the Society for Ear, Nose, and Throat Advances in Children, the American Cleft Palate-Craniofacial Association, The American Broncho-Esophagological Association, Society for University Otolaryngologists, and The Los Angeles Pediatrics Society.

Shapiro lives in Los Angeles with her husband and children, and is active in several charities.

Connect With The Author:
Website

INTENTIONAL-Family Volley this New Year.

2012-01-09T00:00:00.005-07:00

The New Year is here. It is a time when we all seem to look inward and resolve to do different and better. It is no different for blogs and I have spent some time trying to decide what this year's focus should be here on Family Volley.
My personal resolution, or realization, this year is to be more INTENTIONAL (and to SLOW DOWN). And I feel it is a good place for Family Volley to head also.

I hope you will join me as we become more INTENTIONAL this year together. More INTENTIONAL as families and as individuals.

What does this mean, to be INTENTIONAL?

Let me explain.

Imagine for a minute that you and your family are sitting in a canoe. (Just bear with me, I am going somewhere with this.:))

If your family sits in their canoe, and you never put your oars in the water to paddle and steer, what will happen to your canoe?

You could flip over, end up beached, in the reeds or the rocks, or headed in the wrong direction.

Because you and your family have not been INTENTIONAL about where you want to go, the currents and winds have taken over and taken control of your family's course. They will push and pull and blow you where they choose.

These winds and currents could be anything. Media (too much tv, computer, video games). It could be over-scheduling our families, or trying to keep up with the Jones's. It could be that as parents we don't have patience, or we just don't know what to do, or how to handle situations with our kids and spouses. It could be the negative influences of society that tell us "families are not THAT important". It could be selfishness, tiredness, jealousy or disorganization. What ever the currents and winds are for your family, if we don't take control, they will, and our families will be sent off course. And, when we are sent off course, it will take much more energy and effort, to get back on course.

Before we know it, we are just existing as a family, INSTEAD OF LIVING.

This year let's become an INTENTIONAL FAMILY. We are going to create a working plan for where we want our families to go and we are going to get there. How? By putting our oars in the water, fighting against the currents and winds, and INTENTIONALLY paddling on the course we wish to go.

Being INTENTIONAL shouldn't overwhelm us, or worry us, or scare us. It will be manageable and do-able and reasonable. It will be fun and bring our families closer together. I hope that it will excite you, and that you will join me here as I post parenting and family advice, activities and experiences that help our families navigate the right course for each of us. This is going to be the best year yet.

Where to Start?
The first thing to do is get your family on board. You want everyone to paddle. How? Print off one of the pictures of the canoe (rowboat) here in this post (or gather up any picture you have) and have a chat with your family. Wouldn't this make the perfect Family Night?

Explain the canoe story.
Talk about what the winds and currents are for your family. What gets you off course?
Make a resolution as a family to put your oars in the water and be INTENTIONAL.
Put a picture of a canoe or rowboat up in your house as a reminder. Or the word INTENTIONAL on the fridge or in a common area. It will be a good reminder to LIVE instead of just Exist.

So here we go. A New Year, a New Perspective, and a more INTENTIONAL FAMILY.

Who wants to be more INTENTIONAL?
Share with us what gets your family off course.

Family Volley Photo Challenge-Week 1-Self Portrait

2012-01-04T00:02:00.000-07:00

What an exciting day. Today is the first week of our Family Volley Photo Challenge. I hope you will all join in. If you missed the announcement, and want to know more about the challenge and why we are doing it, check out this post. (Think SLOWING DOWN, new perspective, and capturing everyday family moments that make up our lives). Don't worry if you didn't start today. Jump in any time.

I have created a Flicker Group for everyone to share their photos and to leave comments. If you don't have an account, don't worry. It is so quick and easy. Just ask Mighty Sweet Mama, she signed up on Monday and was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was too.

To join our Flicker group, just click here on Family Volley Photo Challenge 2012. It will take you right to it. If you don't have an account, create one really quick and you can upload your photo. You can also find the group by logging in to Flicker, and then search for Family Volley Photo Challenge 2012 under GROUPS. Should pop right up for you. (If you have any trouble, let me know and I can send you an email invite).

This Weeks Challenge: Self Portrait
I should probably only include one picture, but I couldn't decide this week. SO, you get two.
Next Weeks Challenge: Your Favorite Shoes (January 11)

This week's challenge gave me an opportunity to SLOW DOWN and look at myself. With 4 kids and all the other things we have going on, I don't really ever do that.

I realized, I like my hair line, and my hands look like my mom's and grandma's. I like that too.

Can't wait to see your photos.

How did you SLOW DOWN this week?
What do you like about yourself?

New for 2012. Winner of the Cait. Create. Giveaway!

2012-01-01T23:13:00.000-07:00

There are lots of exciting things in store for Family Volley in 2012. One has already been announced. Did you read about my goal of trying to SLOW DOWN, and the accompanying Photo Challenge. I hope you will join in, and take some time over the next few months to change your perspective and recognize the small moments that make up your family's lives.

There will be more news to come over the next few weeks. Stay tuned.

We also have some unfinished business. We need to announce the winner of the Cait. Create. Giveaway.
Thank you to every one of you who entered. I wish that I could all of you a new sign from Cait's shop. Whether you won or not, you can still head over to the shop and pick up your favorite sign.

The winner of their very own "I Love You" Chalkboard Sign is....

Christina

over at A Closet Writer.

Christina, you have 48 hours to email me so we can get you your new sign.

Thanks everyone for entering.

PEN Ready Project and My Own Photo Challenge

2011-12-29T23:00:00.003-07:00

With the New Year upon us, I have been thinking about the things I want to do differently this year.

Call them Resolutions, or Realizations, either way.

(That's a whole post in and of itself).

One thing I would like to do this year is to SLOW DOWN. I have not worked out all the details quite yet, but I want to make it happen.

I decided a few months ago that I would kick off the New Year by taking a photography challenge. Not because I am a photographer, far from it. But because taking a picture requires me to slow down, be more thoughtful, and take a minute to see things from a different perspective. I am hoping this new perspective will set the tone for the rest of the year. (I am including the challenge at the end of the post. Let's do this together!)

I am not the only one who has decided to take a photo challenge. I recently heard about the PEN Ready Project from Olympus.

Olympus sent out teams to 6 different U.S. cities and handed out over 1,000 new Olympus PEN cameras to over 1,000 unsuspecting people. These are people just like you and me. Regular people who happen to be walking down the street. Can you image how cool it would be to have someone walk up to you and GIVE you a really nice, new camera? Boy do I wish I would have been one of the recipients. You too? :)

It is so fun to see all the different pictures taken by the same camera. I hope my new perspective is as fun and fascinating as PEN Ready.

I am going to make it a weekly challenge. Do you want to join me? There is no need for a fancy camera or elaborate poses. It is all about slowing down to gain our new perspective. I will start a flicker group so we can share our pictures. There are very few rules. Only that you cant use a picture you have already taken. That's cheating. :)

I am working on figuring out how to make a pretty printable for you. Until then...here are the first three challenges. Put it on your calendars, and let's have some fun.

January 4 - SELF PORTRAIT

January 11 - YOUR FAVORITE SHOES

January 18 - HANDS

Take a minute to watch the Olympus video. It will inspire you. It did me.

This post is sponsored by Olympus. The challenge is all mine and has been on my to-do list, for this New Year, for months.

Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night.

2011-12-25T23:48:00.000-07:00

Opening her very first present on Christmas Eve.

With children nestled all snug in their beds, we are calling it a day.

I hope you and your family had a wonderful Christmas.

Avoiding Meltdowns this Holiday Season

2011-12-21T23:37:00.000-07:00

The Holiday Season is upon us and it is such a wonderful time of year. It can also be a time of meltdowns and stress for kids.

There is nothing like a good meltdown or temper tantrum to ruin Christmas.
Here are a few suggestions that will help.

Stick to the Schedule.
Be sure you stay consistent with meal times and nap and bed times. This is the BEST WAY TO AVOID MELTDOWNS THIS CHRISTMAS, KEEP NAPS AND BEDTIME REGULAR. Getting behind on sleep is a recipe for disaster.

You might have to speak up. One Christmas I went to put our son down for a nap and a holiday visitor gave me the guilt trip. "I am only here for two days, a nap is more important than him seeing me." Yikes! Yep, the nap is more important. Protect your kids and get them food and sleep.

Have realistic expectations.
We all have a "vision" of how the holidays should go. When they don't go as planned, we get upset and stressed and less patient with our kids. Just because it's Christmas, doesn't mean our children will all of a sudden be perfect. Keep a clear perspective and be flexible. Don't let your expectations for the holiday, become more important than your children.

Also... understand kids are going to ask for more toys and more treats and more of everything. Take the shock value out of the requests because you know they are going to happen. Make expectations clear, and make consequences clear, ahead of time. Instead of constantly saying "No", find a way to say "Yes" to alternatives. (When your daughter keeps asking for more sugar cookies, your first thought might be to say "NO, you have already had two." Instead, say "You can have some raisins or some cheese and crackers"). Try to turn the "No" into a "Yes".

Put yourself in your kids shoes.
Think back to when you were a kid. There was so much anticipation. You waited and waited for all the holiday excitement. Our kids don't understand the stress that we might be under preparing for this time of year. All they know is that they are excited. Remember that feeling? See the world through their little eyes. Let them be excited. Seeing the holidays from their point of view will make it much easier to be patient with them.

Communicate.
Kids are experiencing so many emotions that they don't understand. They don't understand time (do I get to open presents yet?) They don't understand needs vs. wants. They don't understand the difference between "I want to throw myself on the floor and cry, AND, I am really tired and hungry". Explain emotions and feelings so that they can start to understand how they are feeling.

Communication also helps with upcoming events. Prepare them for the upcoming party or activity. Don't just spring it on them while they are in the middle of Chutes and Ladders and say it is time to go.

A few other suggestions...

DON'T THREATEN... "If you don't stop crying, Santa won't come to our house". This will not help. Not in the long run.
If you are going to be away from the house for more than 3 hours, plan a 20-30 minute break for your kids to do something fun and take a little breather. (25 minutes every 3 hours)
There are often times last minute errands and preparations to make. Consider swapping kids with a friend so that your kids can stay on their schedule.
Don't go to more than three adult activities a week. Leaving kids with a babysitter every night of the week will cause them stress. Be selective and pick the most important three. Say no to the rest.
Twice a week, have a block of 3 hours that are unscheduled. Enjoy that time with your kids.
Go on a date with your spouse. This will help you refuel, which will give you more patience for your kids, and the season.
Plan one "day long" family activity over the break. Time to be together will do wonders for your kids behavior. Remember, love is spelled, T-I-M-E.

Good research shows that SPENDING TIME TOGETHER AND HAVING EXPERIENCES TOGETHER means more than "things".

This holiday season, if we want less temper tantrums and meltdowns, worry less about the new "stuff", and spend more time together.

WHAT DO YOU DO TO KEEP THE MELTDOWNS TO A MINIMUM?

HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN THE GUILT TRIP FROM A FAMILY MEMBER OR HOLIDAY VISITOR?

Holiday Cheer for all to Hear

2011-12-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

This video put a smile on my face and had me tapping my feet and singing along. Take a minute and watch. It will help relieve some of the holiday stress you might be feeling with only one week left until Christmas. Yikes!

p.s. I have a secret desire to be in a flash mob. Have any of you done that?

*This post is sponsored by T-Mobile

GIVEAWAY! Cait. Create.

2011-12-15T00:47:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of giving, I have a great Christmas Giveaway for you today. Keep it for yourself, or give it to a friend or loved one.

Cait is a California girl, married to a Nevada boy, living in the Utah mountains, and trying to be creative while chasing around her 3 busy little boys.

Her shop is filled with custom hand painted signs, home decor and more.

Today, Cait is giving away one of my favorite signs.

I LOVE YOU BECAUSE...

This would be perfect in the kitchen, or better yet, in a bedroom. Wouldn't it be fun to write something new about your spouse on the board everyday, then have your spouse take a turn writing things about you. :) It would also be great to have one in each of our kids rooms. I would love to have them come home from school each day, or wake up each morning to something new that I love about them.

Not only is her etsy shop fabulous, but her blog is so much fun. A daily dose of fashion, recipes, even hair tutorials. My favorite, her candy cane toe nails.

Want to win your own "I LOVE YOU BECAUSE..." sign?

Here's how to enter.

Mandatory Entry: Visit the Cait. Create. Shop. Come back here and leave a comment on this post telling me your favorite Cait. Create. sign.

Extra Entries: Scroll down and fill out the form below for your extra entries. So much easier than leaving separate comments for each one. Don't you think?

Like Cait. Create. on Facebook.
Follow the Cait. Create. Blog.
Like Family Volley on Facebook. Just click the link in the sidebar.
Follow Family Volley via GFC. Click the link in the sidebar.
Tell me, heels or flats? :)

Remember, for the Mandatory Entry, leave a comment on this post after you visit the Cait. Create. Shop. For all the Extra Entries, once you have done them, just scroll down and use the quick and easy form. No need to leave a separate comment for each extra entry.

Giveaway will close Monday December 19th. Good Luck.

IT'S HERE! MY NEW BOOK!!!

2011-12-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

Many of you have commented that you would like to see an activity/games book from Family Volley.

Consider it done.

Introducing"Family Fun Fridays"

Named after the popular Friday posts that get families playing together. The book is filled with your favorite games from the blog, and also new games and activities never before posted.

It is filled with a year's worth of Family Activities.

Every activity has been illustrated IN COLOR, which makes the book even more fun.

(I wanted to take pictures of every page, but then they wouldn't be a surprise.)

You will LOVE THE ILLUSTRATIONS!!!

Wouldn't this make the perfect Christmas gift under your family's tree?
Now you can have lots of unique games and activities to play with all the family and friends you will be spending the holiday season with. No more wondering, "What should we do?"

Are you still looking for gifts and stocking stuffers for family and friends? Why not give them something that will bring their family closer and provide hours of family togetherness and fun.

Need a neighbor gift, or housewarming gift for friends?

Each game is complete with modifications. Whether you have kids or not. It doesn't matter if your family is big, or small, or even if you are looking for an activity to play with a youth group. Modifications are even included for young children and toddlers. Great for everyone from Grandmas to Toddlers, and everyone in between.

HOW TO ORDER

Simply click on the "Add to Cart" button at the top of the side bar. It is that easy. You can order as many copies as you would like, and they will be sent to your door step in plenty of time for Christmas gift giving. Books will ship immediately.

As a "thank you for reading", and "Merry Christmas", books are listed at a special Christmas price.

Here is a sneak peak.

There is even a section of activities and games for Christmas and Easter.

Merry Christmas!!!

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Red Nosed Reindeer!

2011-12-09T01:36:00.001-07:00

You will love this game. It is perfect for the holiday season. Think of it as a Christmas version of Shoveling Snow.

YOU WILL NEED

Red Pom Poms

Because Rudolph was a red nosed reindeer.

In a pinch, any color could be used here also.

Vaseline

Red Ribbon

Any color ribbon will work, but red is great because it is christ-mas-y.

Reindeer Antlers

Although not necessary to play, they would be a very festive addition if you happen to have some sitting around.

PREPARATION

1. Take your red ribbon and cut it about 15 or 16 inches long. Small children will need a shorter ribbon.

2. Attach a pom pom to the end of your cut ribbon. A hot glue gun would be perfect for this job.

3. If you have reindeer antlers, have the first player put them on their head.

LETS PLAY

1. The first player, using only their nose, has to dip their nose in the Vaseline. the more vaseline, the better. Players are NOT allowed to use anything but their nose, to apply the vaseline. That includes using their hands to hold the vaseline container.

2. Once the player has vaseline on their nose, they take the ribbon (the end without the pom pom) and hold the very end in their mouth. No cheating here. Grab that ribbon right down at the end. The ribbon should be hanging down towards the floor with the pom pom at the bottom.

3. Now comes the challenge. The player, must swing the ribbon/red pom pom and get the pom pom to stick to their nose.

RULES TO REMEMBER

1. The pom pom and ribbon cannot touch any other part of the players body, except their nose. If it touches another body part, or another part of the players face, and sticks to their nose, it doesn't count.

2. NO HANDS ALLOWED. If a player touches the pom pom with their hands, their turn is over.

TO KEEP SCORE

(aka HOW TO WIN)

1. Set a time limit and see how many times each player can stick the pom pom to their nose in the given amount of time.

2. Set a number limit. For example 10. Time each person and see how long it takes them to get the pom pom to stick 10 times. Who ever does it the fastest is the winner.

Family Members young and old will love this game. Perfect for upcoming Seasonal, family gatherings. If you play, be sure you take pictures. I would love to see all the fun you are having.

Do you have any fun weekend plans? What are you and your family doing this weekend?

Life's Not Fair - Let's Fight For More Birthdays

2011-12-08T03:03:00.000-07:00

Aunt Wendy with our son. 2002

Early this morning my daughter and I headed out to get a few things for our hike. On the way we passed one of our neighbors. I hadn't seen her outside in months and I stopped to say hello. We talked, I asked her how she was feeling, we went on our way.

As I rolled up the window my daughter asked me more about her.

"Isn't she the lady that is sick like Aunt Wendy?" my daughter asked.
"Yes. She had the same thing Aunt Wendy had. She is all better now." I said.

My daughter was quiet for a few seconds and then asked, "If they had the same sickness, Why does she get to live and Aunt Wendy had to die?"

You see, last year my Aunt Wendy died of a brain tumor. She was only 46. We miss her. This woman in our neighborhood had the same type of tumor in the same place, the same size, diagnosed 3 weeks apart. Both were given the same treatment, same procedures, and are close to the same age. Our neighbor is now cancer free and has been for 6 months.

Tears filled my eyes and ran down my face as I tried to answer my daughter's question. It was a hard one. I realized that even to a 5 year old, life doesn't seem fair. She is not the only person to ask this question. I do to sometimes. When my aunt got sick it didn't seem fair. When I come to church and our neighbor is there with her family I sometimes think "that's not fair, why couldn't Wendy have been the one to live?"

Why do some people survive cancer and some don't? Why do some people have all the money they need, and some don't (especially when they are dishonest.) Why is it easy for some families to have children and some families can't? And my favorite, why do I struggle with my weight and she doesn't. It's not fair and it doesn't make sense.

I think about Aunt Wendy all. the. time. Her daughters just came down last weekend to play games with our family. They miss their mom. They especially miss her during holidays, and other special occasions like birthdays.

Wendy's birthday was always special because it is the same day as my moms. Funny, brothers who both married women who have the same birthday. We would always celebrate together. Both names on the cake, a big get together, food, laughing and family. We still get together on the birthday day, the girls still put her name on the cake, but.... well, it is hard.

After cancer hitting so close to home, or family has gotten more involved in the fight against this horrible disease. We need to find a cure. We need to ensure more birthday's for everyone. We wish that Wendy was here to celebrate another birthday with all of us. The American Cancer Society is a great place to start if you want to get involved. We have all been touched by cancer. It is time to stand up and fight to put an end to it.

This video is so fun. It will make you want to throw a party. It is a great reminder that we all want to celebrate another birthday, but to do that, we have to JOIN THE FIGHT.

When ever I get overwhelmed with feelings that "Life Isn't Fair", I remind myself.....

There is a plan for all of us.
None of us knows the wisdom of the Lord.
We do not know in advance exactly how He would get us from where we are to where we need to be.
I had to remember that God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see.
I have to avoid comparing.
I have to remind myself of all the blessings that our family has been given.
I have to remember that I accepted these challenges before coming to earth and that I was prepared to handle them.
I have to remind myself that there would be no test of strength or development of character without trials.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP IN THE FIGHT AGAINST CANCER?
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE LIFE ISN'T FAIR"?

Family Volley
This post is sponsored by American Cancer Society

Can You Have Christ and Santa In the Same Holiday? A Family Activity.

2011-12-06T00:58:00.001-07:00

What a wonderful time of year. The Spirit of Christmas is all around us. We can see it, and smell it, and taste it.

It can also be a tricky time of year for parents who are trying to navigate Christ and Santa. In our home, Christ is the reason for the season, but, what about Santa? Can you have Santa and Christ at the same time?

We are not against Santa. My husband and I both grew up with Santa, and are just fine with our kids "believing", but, we don't want Santa to be more important than The Birth of Our Savior Jesus Christ.

We always think of Christ and Santa as opposites, but do they have to be opposites. Here is a fun activity (inspired by a recent Sunday School lesson) you can do with your families to better navigate the two.

You Will Need...

A picture of Christ wearing Red or White. Which is most pictures of Christ. A couple pictures would be great. My favorite is the picture of Christ knocking at the door with no door knob.
You can also round up pictures of the following, or the real objects if you have them. (Wreath, Evergreen tree, Candy cane, star, gifts, and any other symbol of Christmas you want to include)

Hide the picture of Christ so that your kids can't see it. Even better, put it behind something your kids can open.

Then begin to explain that...
"A very special guest could visit our house soon. I am going to give you some clues about him and you guess who it is."

- this visitor has a beard
- he loves children
- he knows if you are sleeping, he knows when you are awake, he knows if you have been bad or good
- you usually see pictures of him in Red and/or White clothes
- he has special gifts for all of us
- he can come into our homes even when the doors are locked
- you can never see him, but you can feel him
- he hopes we will be good so we can be ready when he comes.
- he gives us a wonderful warm feeling inside
- he has special powers

It will only be natural that your kids will guess that your visitor is Santa. At this point, have one of your children uncover your picture of Christ, or "open" what ever is hiding the picture.

The kids will be very surprised to see a picture of Christ, and more surprised to realize all the similarities between Christ and Santa. Take a few minutes and talk about how the clues apply to both.

Take some time to teach your children that we can be reminded of Christ through lots of different Christmas symbols, even Santa. (Think love, service, kindness, faith and hope and believing in things you can't see). Yes, Santa can remind us of Christ and the true meaning of Christmas. Talk about other symbols of Christmas that remind us of Christ and his birth. (Evergreen trees, candy canes, wreath, star, gifts, etc...)

Your kids will love this activity, and you will love its ability to focus on Christ, yet include the idea of Santa during this Holiday season.

Is Santa part of your Christmas celebration?

Would this work at your house?

How do you keep your kids focused on the true meaning of Christmas?

Merry Fluffy Christmas: GIVEAWAY! $75.00 Amazon Giftcard

2011-11-30T23:38:00.005-07:00

***THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED***

Happy Holidays. Tis the Season to give, and to win.

75.00 Gift Certificate to Amazon.com

Perfect for all your cloth diapering need. Or anything else you want or need this holiday season.

Here's how to enter: READ THROUGH THE REQUIRED AND EXTRA ENTRIES FIRST. THEN....Fill out the quick and easy form here on my blog. Scroll down to find it at the bottom of the post. I'll put all the entries into a spreadsheet and use Random.org to select the winner. Good Luck!

Required Entry: Become a Public Follower of Family Volley via Google Friend Connect, you can use the link in the top right of the sidebar.

Extra Entries:

"Like" Family Volley on Facebook, use the link in the top right sidebar

Leave a comment ON THIS POST, telling me what you love about the Holiday Season
Follow Family Volley on Twitter
Subscribe to Family Volley via Email. Use the link on the right hand side bar.
Tell me, do you use cloth diapers.
Join me on Google +. (Use the link on the right)

Rules are Simple

You will have until 11:59pm EST on December 5th to enter in our prize package below.
There will only be ONE winner for each participating blog.
Please remember to read ALL instructions on each blog, as each blog’s entry methods are different.
And don’t forget to visit ALL OF THE PARTICIPATING BLOGS for more prize packages to win!
NO Purchase necessary, giveaway open to US and Canada.

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TV Debut-Thanksgiving Traditions-Why I Have Been MIA

2011-11-23T00:53:00.006-07:00

I feel like I have been Missing in Action.

Why? Well, on Monday I had a fun opportunity to be on Studio 5, here in Utah. I shared some Thanksgiving Traditions that encourage gratitude. It was a blast, but, there was a lot of preparation. Hence being MIA. Any spare time was spent prepping and planning.

Not bad for my first shot at live TV. Although there were a few things I didn't get to say, but that is how TV works. You role with it.

Give it a watch. Tell me what you think. Tis the season of Gratitude and the video will give you some great ideas just in time for your Thanksgiving Dinner. Especially the "Gratitude Rolls".

p.s. Watch the Studio 5 video and you can see the headband trick in action. The video is working again, with no charges. I wrapped it very tight, tighter than usual, but still loved the way it turned out. Here is how it looked last time I took pictures for you.

NEW WINNER

2011-11-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

I never heard from the first winner, so Random.org helped pick another.

The new winner is...

crystal

crystal, I just sent you and email. You have 24 hours to contact me with your information, or we have to choose a new winner.

WINNER Original Scrapbox Giveaway

2011-11-15T17:47:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone who entered the Giveaway.

The WINNER of the Original Scrapbox Giveaway is...

ROSIE MINI

You have 24 hours to contact me with your full name, address, and phone number. If I don't hear from you in that time, a new winner will be selected.

GIVEAWAY! Original Scrapbox Holiday Blog Hop

2011-11-10T00:10:00.011-07:00

Welcome to The Original Scrapbox Holiday Blog Hop

I am so excited for this giveaway!! It is no secret to my family and friends that I love all things Original Scrapbox. One day I hope to own the Original Scrapbox, and the Sewing Box. They sure would solve a lot of organization problems in our house, and my husband would be excited to see all my crafting/sewing supplies tucked away. :)

The Original Scrapbox company has an incredible line of products for organization, scrapbooking storage, sewing--any kind of craft you can dream up would love a home in one of their phenomenal pieces of furniture. Check out The Workbox, that's one of my favorites. And there is Free shipping anywhere in the continental USA!

On November 18, 2011 we'll give away one of these beautiful WorkTops!

The Original Scrapbox.com is giving away one limited edition WorkTop (value $150.00 U.S. Dollars).
You can enter to win your very own WorkTop from Thursday November 10^th - Monday Nov 14^th, 2011.

Here’s a blog post about this limited edition item http://scrapboxusa.blogspot.com/2011/06/work-top.html

There will be 10 preliminary giveaways with a chance to win an entry into the Grand Prize Drawing for one WorkTop.

Enter here to win the preliminary giveaway of one Ribbon Box (value $19.95) and One entry into the Grand Prize Drawing for a WorkTop in your choice of color.

If you are selected as a preliminary winner of the Ribbon Box, you will then be entered into the grand prize drawing held on The Original Scrapbox Blog on November 18, 2011. On that date, a random drawing will select a winner from all of the finalists to receive one WorkTop (value $150.00 U.S. Dollars) in their choice of black or white.

*The contest is open to addresses in the contiguous United States only.

Giveaway open from Thursday November 10- Monday November 14^th at 11:59pm.

Giveaway Rules:
*You can only enter under one name
* It is possible to win more than one preliminary prize, which means it’s possible to be entered into the grand prize drawing more than once.
*All winner’s addresses must be U.S. (48 contiguous state) addresses
*You must complete the required entry to be eligible to win

Here's how to enter: READ THROUGH THE REQUIRED AND EXTRA ENTRIES FIRST. THEN....Fill out the quick and easy form here on my blog. Scroll down to find it at the bottom of the post. Make sure you include your email address, so I can contact you if you are the winner. I'll put all the entries into a spreadsheet and use Random.org to select the winner. Visit all 10 blogs for extra entries into this fabulous giveaway!

*Required entry: You must watch the following 3 videos on YouTube, (they’re short and sweet!) to find and unscramble the secret message. Then enter the secret message in the form. *DO NOT leave the secret message in the comments.
Here's the links to the 3 videos, or scroll down to watch them here

The WorkBox: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICGpfiFjjhs

The CraftBox: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olI5BBJUplk

The EZ View Desk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGvXmJQZ8U8

Extra Entries:

Like the Facebook page for The Original Scrapbox

Follow the ScrapboxUSA blog
Become a Public Follower of Family Volley via Google Friend Connect, you can use the link in the top right of the sidebar.
"Like" Family Volley on Facebook, use the link in the top right sidebar

Hop on over to each of the participating bloggers for your chance to win a fantastic prize and ONE entry into the grand prize giveaway of the WorkTop from The Original Scrapbox:

Crafty Sprouts
Dukes & Duchesses
Two Classy Chics
Just Jingle
Craftiness is not Optional
Paper or Fabric
Family Volley--That's Me!
I'm a Yarner
Live.Teach.Create
RachelleWrites

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*Disclosure: I received free product from The Original Scrapbox to host this giveaway. All rules must be followed and correct United States address given for prize to be awarded.

Changing Behavior. Part 1

2011-11-06T23:26:00.000-07:00

Is there nagging, or whining, or temper tantrums in your home? Do you want them to stop? This week we are going to talk about what we can do to turn the behavior around.

Today it is all about the ONE-ON-ONE-TIME.

We have talked about his before, but now we are getting serious. :)
I can promise you that heeding this one suggestion will drastically change your child's behavior for the better.

Here is the GOAL: Spend 15 minutes of ONE-ON-ONE-TIME a day, with each of your children.

The Facts: Kids want and need attention. When they are not getting enough positive attention, they misbehave. Why? It gets them attention. SO, they figure, "my mom won't play a game of CandyLand with me, but, if I color on the walls with my crayons, then she will pay attention to me". It doesn't matter if it is negative attention. It is still attention. Toddlers act out and whine and throw tantrums. Older children withdraw and become distant.

When we give our children positive attention, they won't have the need to misbehavior to get us to notice them.

Plus, when we spend time connecting with our children it provides them with security. They feel safe in their relationships with you and with their place in the family.

Here are the Rules:
1. Give each child 15 minutes of ONE-ON-ONE-TIME everyday. Don't combine your kid's time. You want to focus on each child individually.

2. This is uninterrupted time. That means, turn off the TV, get off the computer and no cell phones. Refrain from playing CandyLand while you are checking your email on your phone (not that I would know anything about that).

3. Let your children choose the activities. Ask your kids what they want to do. This gives them a choice. It makes them feel in-charge and that they have some control. This is really important to making this ONE-ON-ONE-TIME work. It we tell them what they will do, they feel forced.

Yesterday I was spending time with our three year old. The baby was sleeping and the older kids were out. She wanted to play Memory. I kept thinking about how behind I was on the laundry. Until I sat down to play. I laid on the floor, and laughed harder than I have in months. I forgot about the laundry and every other worry or care I had. Instead, I noticed the sparkle in our daughter's eyes. I realized what a great memory she has, and we talked about how excited she is about "being big like her sister". And when we finished, she gave me a hug and kiss and said "thanks mom, that was more fun than the park".

Help your child make a list of the things they would like to do during their ONE-ON-ONE-TIME. That way when it is time to be together, you can refer to the list and not waste any time having fun.

4. Consider this more important than the household chores. It is so easy to let our household duties get in the way of our time with our kids. We feel those things have to be done now, and that we can get to our kids later, or tomorrow, or when they are older. Fact of the matter is, nothing is more important than our children. Mopping the floor can wait 15 minutes. Sit down and play. Or else our kids will be 18 and moving out and we will have regrets that we can't do anything about.

5. Consistency is key. This is not just a one time thing. It needs to happen everyday, and not just for a week. Make a commitment and make it happen.

I know what you are thinking, "I am so busy, how am I going to find time to do this"?

First, make better use of your time. Are there things that you and your child already do, that you can make more meaningful? You have to put your children to bed, instead of rushing through the bedtime routine, take each child up separately and spend 15 minutes laughing and reading and talking. Our kids have to take baths. Instead of rushing them through, why not roll up our sleeves and play with them.

I am not very good at this. By the end of the day I am tired, and I feel I have a million things I can "finally do" now that the kids are down. I tend to rush our kids into bed. Not my husband. He plays hide and seek, reads extra stories, laughs and wrestles and plays. I need to be better and follow his example.

In our house, I was finding it hard to find ONE-ON-ONE-TIME with our son. But...he gets up before the other kids. So, I use that quiet time to sit and talk to him over breakfast, just the two of us. We play transformers, look up answers to his science questions, sometimes he just wants me to sit and listen to him, basically we do whatever he wants before the rest of the kids need to be woken up. This time already existed, we just make better use of it now.

Second, carve time out from other activities, and Tame Technology. No matter how busy we think we are, we can find a few extra minutes in our day for our kids. If, after looking at our schedule, we honestly can't find the time, then we need to cut back and do less. Look at our schedule, where do we waste time, where do we have extra time? Do we spend an hour a day on the computer, on Facebook? Cut back to 30 minutes and give that time to our kids.

The truth is, if we want ONE-ON-ONE-TIME to happen, we will make it happen. We will take time from other activities and give it to our children.

ONE-ON-ONE-TIME will make us happier moms also. We will be less stressed because our children will be better behaved. We will spend less time disciplining and more time enjoying our children. We will laugh more, be more relaxed and actually enjoy being moms. We will feel more fulfilled because we have spent our time connecting with our children, and we will find that magically we have more time to do all the other things on our To-do lists.

Yes, this time is not just for our kids. It is for us also.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THIS?
WHAT MAKES IT HARD TO FIND TIME TO BE WITH OUR KIDS?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Engineer Game!

2011-11-03T23:11:00.000-06:00

This is one of my favorite games. I know I have said that before, but it's true. This one is great. Different, fun, and it fosters creativity and problem solving. Boys really really love this game also. At first read it might sound "iffy". Don't judge, give it a shot. It is soooo much more fun than it looks on paper. You will love what your family and friends come up with.

You don't need anything to play this game. Just people.

The Object: Give a group of people a "Machine" that they must act out with sound and motion.

How to Play:
Put players into groups of 5-10.
Give each group a "Machine" (I have included suggestions of machines at the end of the post). Keep it a secret from the other groups.
Each group has 5 minutes to figure out how to act out the "Machine", using sounds and motion.
They act out the "Machine" and the other groups try to guess what it is.

For example. Your group has to act out a Car Engine (V6). So...you could have 6 people line up in 2 lines of 3 across from each other. Then they would go up and down at different times like pistons, while another person made car engine sounds. The person making the sounds could make sounds like they are starting the car, and then the pistons would slowly start to go up and down. As the engine sounds started to go faster, the pistons would go up and down faster and faster.

Rules:
1. "Machines" must have motion, and each member must contribute to the various sounds of the "machine".
2. Some members may act as "humans" and operate the "machine".
3. Some members may represent other objects that the "machine" interacts with.
4. The group leader may determine how much time is given to prepare each "machine". No more than 5 minutes is recommended.
5. Spectators, or other groups, guess what the "machine" is.

SAMPLE MACHINES

Car Engine V6
Ceiling Fan
Rocket ship or Spaceship
Pinball Machine
Human Heart (arguably the worlds most amazing machine, right)
Turntable (that plays records)
Crane Game (like they have at arcades, like in the movie Toy Story where the little green squeaky aliens are)
Bulldozer

Have a great weekend. I think we are expecting snow. I can't decide how I feel about that.

Snow White, a Witch, AND...can you guess?

2011-10-30T23:32:00.001-06:00

The kids are all fast asleep, dreaming of Snickers and Lollipops and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. They are so excited they actually asked to go to bed early so that Halloween would get here faster.

Tomorrow we will have a little Snow White, a Witch, and.... Can you guess what our son is going to be? Here's a hint. He will be carrying this all day.

What are your kids going to be for Halloween?

Because He Loves Me...

2011-10-30T23:17:00.000-06:00

...He is willing to scoop the guts out of my pumpkin, and the kid's pumpkins too.

Don't tell my kids, but carving pumpkins is not my favorite thing to do. Why? I can't stand scooping out the insides. Thanks to a kind husband who is willing to do the dirty work.

Look at all of that. Yuck.

The finished products.

Anyone else okay skipping the carving?

The Reveal-Hair Tutorial

2011-10-26T20:49:00.000-06:00

Disclaimer

I am not a photographer. Neither is my husband.

Second, I felt pretty cheesy just staring at the camera and smiling, so these are a little less direct.

That said, here are some pictures of my hair today. I will give you the run down.

Last night, way too late, I jumped in the shower and washed my hair. Then I dried it with a blow dryer. It was dry, but not bone dry.

Then, I followed the tutorial on the last post. I did it just like she did, except my headband is not as tight as hers, and my part was not as far to one side as hers.

When I woke up this morning, I took the headband out and used my fingers to comb through and separate the waves/curls. It took less than 5 minutes. (It takes 40 minutes to put my hair up in hot rollers, and hot rollers make me sweaty hot. AND the curls do not stay all day. These curls do.). Major Time Saver.

I added a little hair spray and headed out the door. It took a lot of abuse this morning, including a run in with sprinkles, and it is still going strong. (The pictures were taken after the sprinklers) :)

Tomorrow I will be able to wear it down again, and on Friday I will loosely pull it up. Friday night I will wash it again and put it back up in the headband.

I have never had this hair trick not work.

What do you think?

Trust me, this is Great

2011-10-25T00:10:00.003-06:00

We are all good friends here, right?

Meeting in person is not a requirement to be good friends :)

Good friends share things. Good friends help one another.
We are all in this together and tips about "us moms" are just as important as tips about "parenting."

A few weeks ago I found a little trick that has made my life easier, happier, and better. No joke, I am a better mom because of it. Crazy I know. But when I feel better about myself, I am a better mom.

This is better than sliced bread, I promise.

Your mind might be racing, what could this be?

It is free (most likely), only takes about 5 minutes and makes you feel great.

It's a hair tutorial. Yep, a hair tutorial.

Now, remember we are friends here. Friends trust each other. Trust me and just try it. I had my doubts too at first, until I tried it. It doesn't matter if you hair isn't really long, and the excuse that your hair doesn't hold curl won't work either. This works, it does.

In fact, my hair is making these wonderful waves/curls as I type.

Sit back, relax and enjoy this lovely ladies accent. She likes to talk, but stick with her, the tutorial part is great. If you are in a hurry, start at about the 5 minute mark. I don't brush mine into the vintage look she does, so I ignore the end of the video. It is the tutorial itself that you NEED to see (right in the middle). She does a really good job with it. I do mine a little looser and I separate the waves with my hands and look like I just stepped out of a beachy-hair photo shoot. It will give you the waves you dream of when you are looking though magazines. Feeling good about my hair helps me deal with the fact that I lost my waist having our last baby and I don't think I will ever find it again:)

This can get me through 3 days with great hair. The third day I pull it up and let the relaxed waves fall loosely around the sides.

After you try it, let me know what you think, did it change your life like it did mine? Do you already know this trick, do you love it?

Anything you want to share with us, your friends?

p.s. I wanted to make my own VLOG, and do a tutorial for you, including our girls, so you could meet them. But alas, I have not found the time and I just can't wait any longer to share. The VLOG will have to wait.

Tired of the "High Road"

2011-10-16T23:16:00.004-06:00

As a kid I was always taught to "take the high road." You know.... the high road. It's the road you take when someone offends you or hurts your feelings. (Let me clarify, It is not being a pushover.)

For example. If my husband comes home and says something that might feel a little insensitive, instead of holding it against him for a week, or saying something hurtful back to him, I think..."he has had a long week, he didn't mean it that way, he is tired, he has a lot on his mind, he loves me and would never hurt me on purpose...etc." You know... the high road.

I believe in the high road. I know it is a Christ like way to be. I hope that people will take the high road with me because I am sure I say and do things that could be interpreted different than they are meant. I never mean to offend. Besides, who am I to judge. I have no place.

The high road helps me avoid judging, avoid holding grudges, and gives others the benefit of the doubt. All good things. It takes energy and effort to hold grudges. There are better places I can put my energy and effort. My husband and I are trying to teach our kids to take the high road. Especially with one another.

Here's the thing. I believe in the high road, but, ...sometimes I get tired of it. Really tired of it. Does that sound bad?

Last week my feelings were hurt by someone. Someone I am (or at least used to be) very close to. No, I am not talking about my husband. :) I will spare you the details, not necessary. My feelings were hurt so bad, it would have hurt less if they would have just punched me in the face. I spent all day trying to take the "high road." I thought about their situation, what they were going through, tried to be sympathetic and understanding. I kept trying to put myself in their shoes.

BUT... Underneath it all, I wanted to call them, tell them where to go and how to get there. I wanted to tell them that if they wanted to have a relationship then things had to change. I wanted them to know that I would not just be sitting around to welcome them, once they got things straightened out. I actually wanted to get on a plane and tell them those things face to face. I couldn't tell which was worse, the hurt I felt, or the anger I felt. I was tired of "rising above it." I wanted to throw the high road right out the window. Surely for all the times I have taken the high road, I was entitled to get mouthy at least once, right?

There was internal turmoil between what I knew was right, and what I wanted to do. Do you ever feel that way?

Over the last few days I have tried to forgive and move past the incident. I can't imagine what this person is dealing with in their life right now. I know they are doing the best they know how. I know (or at least am hoping) that they wouldn't hurt me on purpose.

My husband and I were talking about the situation. He reminded me of a phrase we heard over and over during General Conference a few weeks ago.

"Charity Never Faileth"

At first I fought the saying in my mind. "Yes it does", I thought. Charity fails. I feel like I have been showing charity toward this person and the situation for a looooong time, and nothing has changed. I don't see charity changing anything any time soon either.

Then, like a breath of fresh air, It dawned on me. Showing Charity to other people will never fail. Things might not change, relationships might not get better now, or during this life, BUT regardless... there will come a day when I am judged. I will be judged for my actions and my thoughts. It is then that "Charity will never faileth". It is then that I will be grateful for the times I took the high road, and despair over the times when I didn't. It is then that the Lord will show mercy for all of my weaknesses and my shortcomings. When I am judged, the times when I have shown charity will never have failed me.

I was reminded that I don't get to choose when to forgive or rise above, or take the high road. I am required to take the high road, always. My salvation depends on it.

A humbling reminder that I shouldn't ever get tired of the high road, because the high road is always the right road.

Are you ever torn between what you know is right and what you want to do?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Never Have I Ever!

2011-10-13T22:50:00.000-06:00

NEVER HAVE I EVER

This game is all about the things we haven't done. It is perfect to play with your family, regardless of how big or small. It is also a blast with large groups. You will love what you learn about each other.

All you need to play, are your fingers.

Have everyone sit in a circle.

Each player holds out all ten of their fingers and places them on the floor. (You can hold them up in front of you if you prefer.)

One by one each person announces something that they have never done. Start each statement with "Never Have I Ever." For example, "Never have I ever had a sister." OR "Never have I ever eaten fish."

For each statement, ALL THE OTHER PLAYERS REMOVE (put down) A FINGER IF THEY HAVE DONE THAT STATEMENT.

So...if three other people have a sister, those three people MUST PUT DOWN A FINGER. leaving them with nine fingers up.

The goal is to stay in the game the longest (TO HAVE FINGERS REMANING UP).

A good strategy is to say statements that most people have done, but that you haven't.

The goal is to be the last player with fingers up.

Leave a comment and tell us,

What have you NEVER DONE?

Have a Happy Happy Weekend.

Tips to Being a Happy Mom

2011-10-10T23:36:00.000-06:00

Being a mom is tough. Being a mom is even harder when we are miserable.

Being a Happy mom not only makes our lives better, but it makes our families happier also.

Here are 8 things that Happy Moms have in common.

1. Happy Moms Avoid Comparisons
As mothers and women we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. If we want to be happy, we have to stop. We are usually comparing our weaknesses and shortcoming to someone else's strengths. It is not a fair comparison. And, when we compare, we foster feelings of jealousy and envy. Those feelings will make us miserable. There will always be someone skinnier, with a cleaner house and with kids that seem more behaved. Always. SO what...comparing will not make us skinner, or our house cleaner. Don't waste energy on comparing.
It is the same with our children. Don't compare our kids to others. When we do, we miss all the magic that is in each of our own children. We overlook how wonderful and unique they are. And we put unfair pressure on them.
When we find ourselves longing for someone else's life, sit down with a piece of paper and pen and start listing all the things you are thankful for. List all the blessings in your life. When you feel yourself starting to compare again, get out the paper and re-read all that you are thankful for. We will quickly realize how blessed we really are.
The other thing we can do to stop the comparing is to serve others. Serving others brings humility and helps us recognize our many blessings.
Lastly, we have to be careful with social media. It is easy to read about all the recipes and refinished furniture and beautifully sewn cloths and feel inadequate. Just because we don't do all those things, doesn't mean we are less. Nor should we compare ourselves to all the "ideal" posts we read.

2. Happy Moms Stop Worrying
I am very guilty of this. I am a worrier. It causes stress, and then I am not happy. It will take practice, but think about it this way: If you can't change it or control it, then there is no need to worry about it. Instead think about what you can control and put your efforts there. The other thing we can do to stop worrying is to turn off the news. I watch the news filled with all the negative and horrible and I worry more.

3. Happy Moms Recognize Their Worth.
There comes a time when we have to accept ourselves, as is. We need to love ourselves. Instead of wondering what we are good for, we need to know that our role is THE most important role. We are raising and influencing future generations. We are primarily responsible for nurturing little human beings. It doesn't get more important than that. Even if we don't have children of our own, there is nothing that compares to a women's loving influence.
Take a minute and write down all the things that you are good at. Don't be shy, write them down. Maybe you are a good friend, patient, a talented seamstress, or creative. Own them, find strength in your strengths and use them to help others. The sooner we can recognize our true worth, the happier we will be.

4. Happy Moms Have Faith and Pray
The act of being faithful, in and of itself raises our spirits and gives us hope. Hope is happy and healing. Couple that hope with prayer and the sun will shine happy rays. :) Even on the worst of days, having faith that we are trying our best and that tomorrow will be better, can help us feel happy today.
Prayer can help us lead happier lives also. It gives us a chance to express gratitude and ask for help. When we pray, be specific. Yesterday I prayed that I could be more creative with our 3 year old. Lately she has wanted me to play zoo, and make animal sounds. Sometimes that is hard for me, so I asked for help. Pray for more time with your family, pray for stamina to get through a long day. Sometimes my prayers are that I can get through the next 15 minutes. Happy moms have faith. For me, faith helps because I know that I am never alone.

5. Happy Moms Choose Good Friends.
We are quick to preach this to our children, but do we realize how important it is for us. We need to surround ourselves with people who lift us up, who believe in us, and who support us. Avoid relationships that are one sided and draining. We want friends who don't compare, who revel in our successes and who believe in lifting others up, not putting others down. That is also the type of friend we want to be for others.

6. Happy Moms Make Time For Themselves
As mothers and women, we tend to take care of ourselves last. I have caught myself more than once saying "when the kids are older then I will have time for....". We need to stop thinking like that. We should find some time for ourselves to cultivate our gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn to do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. It is not selfish.

7. Happy Moms Simplify
We need to clean up and clear out. Take a look at your schedule and make sure it is not too full. Don't over schedule our kids, or ourselves. Juggling a million things doesn't make us better moms with cooler kids. It just stresses us out. We are not happy when we are stressed. Our kids only need one or two extra activities, same with us as moms.
We should simplify our homes also. Too many clothes and toys in our homes and cars add stress. It can become overwhelming to manage so much stuff. Simplify. Cut down to what is manageable and spend less time keeping up with all the stuff, and more time with those you love, doing things you want to do and being happy.

8. Happy Moms Laugh and Smile
Laughing and Smiling naturally brings happiness. Let your face light up and let out a giggle. In fact, smile at someone else and watch their face light up. We can get so rushed and serious that we forget to be happy. So even if you have to force it at first, smile.

ARE YOU A HAPPY MOM?
DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH ANY OF THESE?

WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU ADD TO THE LIST?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Killer Frog!

2011-10-07T07:53:00.000-06:00

This game is simple, fast, and really fun.

You don't need anything to play.

To Play:
Choose one person to be the "detective". Send the detective out of the room. The detectives' job is to try and figure out who the Killer Frog is.

While the "detective" is out of the room, choose one person to be the killer frog, so that everyone knows who the killer frog is, except the detective.

Have everyone get is a circle and invite the detective back into the room. Have them stand in the middle of the circle.

Now The Fun Begins:
The Killer Frog, being very sneaky, so the detective doesn't catch him/her, will stick their tongue out (one by one) at the other people in the room.

Whoever the killer frog sticks their tongue out at, must fall down on the ground, acting out a very dramatic death.

The detective will try to guess who the killer frog is. If the detective figures out who the frog is then he wins and gets to be the detective again. If the frog wins, (by killing everyone before the detective finds out who he/she is) then he gets to be the detective.

Depending on the size of the group, we like to limit the number of guesses the detective has. SO...instead of the detective being able to just call out names until they get it right. The detective only has three guesses. That way they will have to use more skill and thought to make their guesses.

Has Fall hit where you live yet, or are you still enjoying the summer?

Any big weekend plans?

Avoid the Red Pen-Follow the 90/10 Rule

2011-10-03T23:22:00.000-06:00

The summer between my first and second year of graduate school, I was asked to take a TA class. As a graduate student we were often assigned to help a professor, and those responsibilities could include grading papers, or anything else they needed help with. We needed training.

One of the very first things they taught us was to AVOID THE RED PEN. They taught us not to use a red pen when we were grading papers or assignments. They suggested that any other color, even pink or orange would be better.

I thought this was funny. Every teacher I think I ever had in high school used a red pen to mark mistakes and incorrect answers. (And some in college too..)

They went on to teach us how a red pen immediately puts someone on the defensive. It makes the mistakes stand out over the things the student might have gotten right. This discourages the student. The color itself makes us feel negative.

They also taught us that when grading a paper, we should always try to SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE FIRST, before we made a negative comment on what we were grading.

Not only have these principles helped me as a teacher, but they have also helped me as a parent. They can help all of us.

How?....

AVOID THE RED PEN- don't constantly point out our children's shortcomings. We don't need to spend all our time with our children pointing out what they are doing wrong or need to do better. Sure, there are times when we need to, but not all the time. Don't be nit picky. Constantly pointing them out is like using a red pen instead of a blue one. Our kids grow up with their mistakes glaring in their face. That is discouraging, and immediately puts them on the defensive. And, it makes them feel like doing something good won't matter, because all we point out is the bad. This also means that we don't point out their mistakes to others. Use a blue pen, make the bad less obvious and praise the good.

SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE FIRST- When we talk to our children, always start with a positive statement. Then you can follow it up with the problem. Sometimes the only positive we might have to say is "I Love You". That's okay. Don't let yourself say something negative or reprimanding until you have said something positive.

Our goal should be to make 90% of our conversations with our kids POSITIVE. With only 10% negative, reprimanding, and correcting.

Evaluate how you are talking to and "grading" your kids. Are your conversations filled with red pen? Do you follow the 90/10 rule?

These simple principles will strengthen our relationships with our children, and we will find that they will be better behaved.

What color pen do you use?

Do your conversations follow the 90/10 rule?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Playdough Pictionary

2011-09-30T07:15:00.001-06:00

This game is great for kids and adults alike. It is the perfect game to play if it is just you and your spouse, or a large group of people. Whoever happens to be around, grab some play-dough, sit down and have fun.

You Will Need

PLAY-DOUGH

Lots of colors is fun, but one color will work just fine also. If you don't have the store bought, no biggie, homemade play-dough will work great too.

LIST OF WORDS

I have included a list of words for you at the end of the post to get you started. Add any other words you think would be fun, or that would work for your family.

How to Play

Divide into teams.

Give each team play-dough. We like to give each team a few different colors.

Print off one copy of the words (listed below) for each team. Cut the words into strips and put them in a bowl or baggie.

When you say "GO", one person from each team will choose a word out of the bowl. They will attempt to "SCULPT" that word for their team using the play-dough. They cannot talk, make noises, use actions, or anything else. They can only use the play-dough. The rest of their team is trying to guess what they are making.

Once someone on their team has guessed, the next team member pulls another word out of the bowl and begins to sculpt.

This continues, everyone taking turns sculpting, until all the words in their bowl have been guessed. The team to do this first, wins.

*VARIATIONS*

Instead of going through the whole bowl of words to win, you can set a timer. When time is up, the team with the most words guessed, wins.

Small teams, such as teams of two will work just fine.

If you are playing with just two or three people, take turns sculpting for the whole group, and keep score as individuals. (Set a timer, sculpt, and if your word is guessed in the time frame, you get a point. The person with the most points at the end of the game, wins.)

If your children are small and can't read yet, instead of words, draw pictures and put those on the different slips of paper. Or even create a separate bowl that holds the picture clues. When it is an adults turn, they pick from the words. A child's turn, they pick from the picture clues.

If you have a really big group. Put one person in charge of the list of words. Send one "sculpter" up from each team to get their first word. They have to run back and sculpt. As soon as their teammates correctly guess the words, a new person from their group runs up to the person with the list and they given their next word. This lets teams run and move around and adds even more fun to the game. The team who successfully gets through the whole list first, wins.

List of Words (print off one copy for each team. Cut the words into slips of paper and put in a bowl or baggie)

Octopus

Engagement Ring

Truck

Balloon

Music

Apple Tree
Cat
Shoe

Telephone

Dragon

Bee

Thinking
Rain

Grapes

Blocks

Rectangle

Group

Submarine

Deer

Igloo
Bow and Arrow
Flower
Dog
Guitar
Rectangle
Blocks
Light Bulb
Door
Train
Wand

I hope you and your family have a wonderful weekend.

We All Make Mistakes. Kids Included.

2011-09-26T00:20:00.008-06:00

Wouldn't it be frustrating if every time we made a mistake, someone was there to point it out? That would drive me crazy. I am usually well aware when I mess up. The last thing I want/need is someone making a big deal about it. All. The. Time

Mistakes are part of life. We have all made mistakes, and we will make more. The important part about mistakes, is to learn from them.

When it comes to our children, we have to be careful. We don't want them to feel like all we do is point out all the things they are doing wrong. Instead, we need to help them learn from their mistakes.

Learning from our mistakes is a vital part of growing up. In fact, research shows us that kids learn more from making mistakes, then taking the easy route and getting everything correct all the time.

Here is what we need to keep in mind when it comes to our kids and their mishaps.

Be patient. Don't scoff and sigh.

Remember, these are our children. They are learning and growing and trying to do their best. We went through the same things. When our 3 year old has an accident for the third time in one day and we have to clean it up, sighing and scoffing and complaining about the mistake will only hurt your relationships with your child. Laugh, clean up, and move on. Don't use it as a tool to make your child feel bad because you have to clean up their mess either.

Acknowledge that you don't expect your children to be perfect. Praise effort.

This does not mean that we set low expectations. It means that we recognize that no one is perfect and we want them to do the best that they can. We do not want our children to be afraid of making a mistake. Those types of feelings will keep them from even trying. It will also keep them from confiding in us and being honest because they will not want to get in trouble. Expecting perfection is not realistic. Don't be unrealistic. We shouldn't put that type of pressure on our kids.

Make it clear your love is unconditional, regardless of their mistakes. Never withhold a hug.

Never, ever, ever, withhold love because your child has made a mistake. Our love is unconditional, regardless of the mistake or misstep. Fewer mistakes does not mean we show more love. Nor should children feel they have to earn our love.

Don't rescue children from their mistakes. Instead, help them focus on the solution. Change the focus.

Don't pretend the mistakes didn't happen, or that they are not real. Remember, mistakes can make us better, they help us grow. Our job is not to rescue them when they make a mistake, but instead to help them focus on a solution to the problem and avoiding making the same mistake again.

Share examples of your own mistakes. What happened. What did you learn? Let them know you can relate and understand.

Where appropriate (use good judgement, this doesn't mean we share all our past mistakes), use personal examples to teach our children. Be sure you explain what you learned, and how you felt. Talk about consequences. Sharing our own experiences makes us human. Our children feel like we really do understand what they are going through, because we have been there ourselves. Plus, it is easy for children to see their parents as perfect. Perfection is tricky. It is impossible to live up to because it is not possible.

Encourage them to take responsibility. Don't pass the buck.

It is important to teach our children to take responsibility for the things they do wrong. We don't want them to grow up blaming everything on the "other kid".

Stick with the consequences. Don't be a push over.

Some mistakes have natural consequences. (Like not studying for a test. You most likely get a bad grade.) Then there are other mistakes where we as parents will have to follow through and enforce a consequence. Be sure that the time fits the crime, and enforce the consequence.

Avoid pointing out their past mistakes. Focus on the moment.

It is not our job to continually point out what our kids have done wrong. For the most part, with most mistakes, we can let the bygones by bygones. If we continually bring up past mistakes, our kids will never feel like they can get out from under what they have done wrong. It can begin to define them. We don't want that. And...why would they want to do better, if they think we will just point out the mistakes they have made in the past?

Praise them for their ability to admit their mistakes. Say thank you.

We want our children to feel comfortable telling us when they have made a mistake, and admit if they have done wrong. It is appropriate for us to thank them for being honest and admitting what they have done.

Teach children what to do when they make a mistake. How do you right the wrong?

Do they need to apologize, clean up, fix, or replace. Teaching kids what to do when they do wrong will give them the tools they need to handle future mistakes.

Help them find the silver lining. What can be learned?

Turn each mistake into a learning opportunity.

Evaluate. How do we handle our mistakes. Are we setting a good example?

Take a minute and evaluate how we handle our own mistakes. Do we swear, yell, sulk? Do we blame them on everyone else? Remember, kids will, for the most part, do what their parents do. We are teaching them by example. What type of example are we setting?

Keep a sense of humor. Laughter is good medicine.

Mistakes are a part of life. We need to be patient and understanding with our children. We are here to help teach them so that they will want to make good choices. When mistakes happen, we are here to help them understand and work through the bad choice. These are life skills that when learned young, will help forever.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE?

DO YOU MAKE YOUR KIDS APOLOGIZE?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Survivor!

2011-09-08T22:03:00.000-06:00

This week's game is one that every family should play. It will teach you a lot about yourselves. It will help you family build their communication skills and learn to cooperate. It will also help to illustrate family roles, leadership skills, and teamwork.

After all, our families should be a team, right?

Materials

Newspaper

Masking Tape

Rules

Explain to your family that they are stuck in the desert, or on a deserted island. In order to protect you from the elements, you will need to build a shelter big enough to house the entire family. The structure must be free standing and be built with only the newspaper and tape provided.

Your family will have 3 minutes to plan how they are going to build the structure. Immediately when the time is up, they have 10 minutes to build the group shelter. When the 10 minutes expires, all family members need to be in/under the shelter.

HERE IS THE CATCH:

During the building phase...NO TALKING IS ALLOWED

Yep...no talking.

Now, when the 10 minutes is up, take a few minutes to "debrief". Fancy word for "talk about it".

How did you communicate when you couldn't talk?

What was hard?

What was easy?

What worked?

What didn't work?

Was your family able to cooperate?

Did anyone ever disagree with another family member's approach?

What roles did each person play? Did someone take charge? Did someone stand back? Are these the same roles family members play in your everyday family life?

How does this apply to everyday family life?

What would you do differently, given another chance?

***A fun twist...A STORM IS COMING...will your family survive in your shelter?.... Test the structural integrity. Put everyone in the shelter (minus the one who will squirt the water). Use a fan and squirt bottle to create wind and rain.***

There is no right or wrong way, but here are some visuals to get you thinking.

Do you think your family could do this?

I miss summer. Anyone else?

I Am A Mother

2011-09-04T23:04:00.000-06:00

*Modified from around this time last year*

My feelings have only grown stronger. Happy Labor Day!

I have always "loved" America. I feel very blessed to live in a free land.

As a child I was taught that it is a blessing to live in this "promised land." I believe that.

In the 8th grade I went on an East Coast Trip. I saw the monuments and the battle fields and I went to New York and saw Les Miserables on Broadway. The trip was great, the sights made an impression. Les Mis made a bigger impression. I didn't take political science classes, but I did study French for the next 5 years.

Then, about ten years ago I had the opportunity to spend more than 5 months working in Washington D.C. I spent every day associating with people who not only believed in America, but loved American. While there my testimony grew. My patriotism grew. D.C. people don't learn about America from a text book like I did on the West Coast. They learn because it is in their backyard. They see it, they visit it, they remember the stories and the battles because they stand on the ground where the battle took place. It is different there. I liked it. It stuck with me. Since then my feelings about our country are different. They are stronger and more reverent.

When I think about America it stirs up emotions. Strong emotions. This summer, as we have celebrated America, the celebrations have been tinged with different emotions, an anxious frustration that has been hard to place.

Tonight, I have finally realized what it is. This year, I have felt helpless. I have disagreed with most political decisions that are taking place in Washington and have watched as changes have been "passed" that I don't agree with. These changes and decisions have hurt our family and a lot of other families. I feel helpless. I feel like vote or not, I can't do anything about what I don't agree with. I feel like America, this country that I am loyal to, is not going in the best direction. That is why this year felt different.

This is all personal opinion. I am by no means suggesting a "political discussion." I am not qualified to have a discussion like that.

I laid awake last night and fought the helpless feelings. I couldn't help but think about the upcoming presidential elections. I feel like my vote still won't change things. Maybe there isn't anything I can do?

Then I realized there is a lot I can do. I can teach my children about America. I can teach them that this is a "promised land." I can teach them how important it is to vote, and fight, and stand up for what is right. More than that, I can teach them to be moral men and woman. I can teach them manners and kindness and patience. I can teach them how to love and work and serve, and how important it is to be a good father and mothers. I can teach them to be true to themselves, their virtue, and their beliefs.

I am not a senator, or congressman. I am a mother. Mothers CAN change the world, one household at a time. My vote always matters.

MOTHERS ARE STRONG. DON'T YOU AGREE?

DO YOU EVER FEEL POLITICALLY HELPLESS?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Balloon Pong!

2011-09-01T23:38:00.002-06:00

This is a great game for your whole family. Set up a little tournament, or have everyone play at the same time. This is great for even the littlest of family members. Just watch the balloon in their mouths.

You most likely already have everything that you need.

Supplies

Balloons

(Blown up. Although you only need one to play, it is good to have a few on hand, just in case one pops.)

Paper Plates

(One per person)

Craft Sticks

(One per person. You could also use paint stirring sticks. They are a little longer and can add some stability to your paper plate)

Tape

(I like masking or duct tape the best)

FIRST: Take your paper plates and using the tape, tape one of your craft sticks to the back of the paper plate. TO CREATE YOUR PADDLE. It is fun if each person gets to make have their own paddle. Once they are put together, use crayons and markers to personalize your paddles. You can name your paddle, color it, anything that makes it stand out as yours. This is great for little kids.

NEXT: Blow up your balloon. This will be used as the ball.

NOW: You're ready to play. You need a net of some sort. This can be as simple as putting a piece of tape across a table to make a dividing line OR you could tape a string across the room. If you have a volleyball net in the backyard, you could use that also.

TO PLAY: Pretend it is ping pong. One person will hit the balloon over the line to the other person. That person has to hit the balloon back over the line without letting the balloon touch the table, or the ground, depending on where you are playing. Keep score. Remember, in ping pong you have to win by 2. And you switch servers after every 5 points scored. (I hope I remembered that correctly)

VARIATIONS: We like to play without a "net" also. We have everyone play at the same time, and we have to keep the balloon from touching the ground. We also play in teams of two, hitting the balloon back and forth, again, not letting it touch the ground. The team to keep the balloon in the air the longest, wins.

RELAY VARIATION: Set up household objects to create an obstacle course around your house, or in the yard. Each person has to hit their balloon, with their paddle, through the obstacle course. The fastest time wins. Or have two people race through the course against each other at the same time.

You could also have two people hitting the balloon back and forth to each other while going around different obstacles.

BE SURE TO KEEP YOUR PADDLES. THEY CAN BE USED ALL THE TIME. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU NEED TO HAVE A QUICK GAME OF BALLOON PONG.

THINK, AFTER DINNER DISHES HAVE BEEN CLEARED.

You could even have a silly trophy that you make, or get from DI. The winner gets to keep the trophy in their room until the next time the family plays. The new winner then gets to house the trophy in their room.

I hope you and your family have a great weekend.

HAS EVERYONE ADJUSTED TO THE BACK TO SCHOOL ROUTINE?

Potty Talk and Dirt Mouths

2011-09-01T00:27:00.002-06:00

I don't like the word "potty", let alone a "potty mouth", and our kids know that we don't say "bad words". But... regardless of our children's ages, they are hearing and maybe saying words that we don't approve of.

So what can we do to stop the "poopoo heads" and four letter words. Here is some advice to help beautify those mouths.

When the potty talk, or bad words come out, Don't overreact. That is what your child wants you to do. If we get upset and draw extra attention to the words, our kids will use them again to get more attention. Stay calm. The potty talk will usually take care of itself.

When children are small, teach them the correct names for body parts. They will be normal "no big deal words" to your kids and they won't get any satisfaction or excitement out of using them. So true for little kids who like to use "poop and pee" talk.

Children need lots of attention and validation. Whether the attention comes from positive or negative actions, they are still getting attention. So, make sure that your kids are getting lots of positive attention.

Give your children choice. When children get to choose, they feel like they have some control in their lives. They won't feel like they need to gain control by using bad language.

Watch our language. If we are using inappropriate language, so will our children. This happened to us today. My husband said "these kids were screwing around at school" in front of our 3 year old (I know that is not a four letter word, but...we don't want our three year old saying it). Our three year old spent the rest of the day saying "screwing around". Hearing it once was all it took. My husband learned quick, to watch every word.

Do not respond to bad language or potty talk. Our children are looking for attention, responding will give them that attention. Just like when our children get demanding or backtalk, we need to make it clear that we won't respond unless they speak using appropriate words. Walk away if you need to.

Be cautious with media. Is the music your teenager is listening to filled with bad language? Are your young children watching t.v. filled with "potty talk?" Turn them off. Make it clear that those shows and songs are not acceptable in your house. Shows affect the tones our children use when they speak also. (If your child has ever watched Caillou you probably know what I mean).

Be careful with friends. Are your children around other kids who use language you don't approve of? Our daughter learned "poop head" from the neighbor next door. I made the mistake of letting them play again. The next time she came home saying "pee pee face". Our daughter doesn't play with that little girl any more. She said, "but Jane says poop head, why can't I?" I had to make it clear that just because Jane says that word, doesn't mean it is okay in our family. Our son no longer rides his bike with the boy up the street who started saying "four letter words." (Really bad "four letter words").

Set the ground rules early. Make it clear what words your kids (and yourself) can and can not say.

Teach kids how to manage and deal with their anger. Older kids usually swear because they are angry or trying to fit in and be popular. If they learn young how to manage their anger, they will be less likely to swear when they are mad. Teach self-mastery. Help build your child's self esteem so that they don't feel the need to act out, to "fit in" and be popular. Make sure they know how popular they are in your eyes so they aren't overly seeking that attention in other places.

Words have power. We need to teach our children that words have power. Especially our older children. Using them inappropriately can be degrading, mocking and scornful. Help our children examine the effects that harsh words have on others, and on ourselves.

Evaluate. Why the "foul talk?" Are they doing it for attention, are they rebelling, out of anger, for popularity? Look for the root of the problem. Address it.

Set clear consequences. There needs to be consequences for swearing. Make sure your children understand those consequences and that you enforce them.

Here are four of the most popular consequences.

1. Have your child wear a rubber band on their wrist. Every time they say a swear word they have to snap themselves with the rubber band. Probably better for older, teenage children.

2. When your child says an inappropriate word, they have to go to the dictionary and find a more appropriate word to use instead. Then they have to use that word in a sentence and teach it to the rest of the family. You could even have them write a story using the new word. For little children, help them look up the word and then have them draw a picture of the new word in use.

3. Make a "swearing jar" and a "non-swearing jar". Every time someone says a swear word, or there is "potty talk", the offender has to put money in the "swearing jar". Make this a family affair. It goes for adults also. You hope this jar stays very empty. If it does stay empty, or doesn't exceed a certain amount, then the parents make a contribution to the "non swearing jar". The contribution could be made daily or weekly. When this jar gets full (or reaches a certain amount), the family uses it to go out for ice cream, or to go bowling, or for another fun family activity. Praise everyone as they use good language and the "non-swearing jar" fills up.

4. Loss of privileges. "Potty talk and "swearing" means they miss out on some of their favorite things.

It is very normal for young children and teenagers to go through "dirty mouth" phases. We can't stop the words from coming out of their mouths, but we can do a few things that shorten the "phase" and keep things on track.

DO YOU USE THE WORD POTTY IN YOUR HOUSE? (just wondering)

WHAT WAS THE CONSEQUENCE IN YOUR HOUSE IF YOU SAID A "BAD WORD?"

Smile.

2011-08-29T00:20:00.004-06:00

Happy Monday!

Hope she makes you smile.

p.s. Pardon the baby voice.

Making and Keeping Memories-School Year TIME CAPSULES

2011-08-23T22:03:00.002-06:00

Early FAMILY FUN FRIDAY

I tried so hard to have this up yesterday. Just didn't happen. Better late than never.

Image Via Pinterest

Well, our new school year has started off with a bang. The kids had a great first day of school. Both of our kids changed schools this year.

Our daughter just started first grade and is in a French Immersion Program. Half of her school day is only in French (including Math). No English will be spoken by the teacher. She already came home after the first day, spitting out French phrases and introductions. Little minds are amazing.

I can't get over how fast our lives are changing and our kids are growing. I am sure I just got married. Actually, I still feel like I am 19. But I am not. 10 years of marriage and 4 kids later, life is flying by and sometimes I don't feel like I am making time to document the growth and changes. So I am changing that.

Here is a great little family activity, perfect for the start of a new school year. It will help you keep track of your children's growth, without taking a lot of time or resources. And your kids will love it. Don't worry if school has already started. There is plenty of time and your kids will still be very willing.

SCHOOL YEAR TIME CAPSULES

The idea is to document the small things about your child that will change over the next school year. Things like height, weight, likes and dislikes, even handwriting.

You don't need much.

A container

Rope or string or ribbon

Paper

Pens/Pencils

Camera

First...decide what you want each child to keep their capsule in. Our daughter is going to use a Mason jar, our son chose an old shoe box, our youngest is going to use a #10 can. (Even though she is not in school, she doesn't want to be left out. :)

HEIGHT

Have your child stand up against a wall and lightly mark how tall they are. THEN...take your rope/string/ribbon and stretch it the length of your measurement. Cut the string to the right height length, and put it in your time capsule. They will love getting it out at the end of the school year and seeing how tall they have grown.

WEIGHT

Write down how much your child weights. If you don't know, don't worry, skip this one.

LIKES/DISLIKES

On a piece of paper, have your child write down the following...

favorite color

favorite meal

favorite fruit

favorite vegetable

favorite activity

least favorite food

favorite tv show

favorite movie

favorite book

favorite subject in school

favorite friend

favorite snack

favorite shirt/pants/shoes

favorite toy

You get the point. Add your own to the list.

(I need to learn to make printable pdf's for you and then you could print off a template. I will put it on my to-do list)

GOALS

Have your child write down 3 goals they have for this school year. At the end of the year you can see if they accomplished those goals.

HANDWRITING

Have your child write their name. For even more fun. Have them write it on a piece of paper/chalkboard/whiteboard and then take of picture of them holding the piece of paper up. This way you will have a picture of them and see what their writing was like. It will be fun to see how their writing has changed at the end of the school year.

TRACE HANDS/FEET

Trace your children's hands. Include the tracing in the capsule. Your kids will love to see how their hands have grown. We like to include feet also.

PICTURE

If you took a picture of your child holding up their name, then you can use that as your picture. If not, you probably took a picture the first day of school. Add a picture to the time capsule and you are set.

Once you have everything filled out and gathered, put it in your container of choice and seal it up. We have thought about burying ours in the backyard, but that is still up for debate. just tuck them away until the end of school.

It will be so fun to have a special START OF SUMMER PARTY next year when we open them up and see how the kids have grown and changed.

THE ULTIMATE GOAL

We have decided that we are going to do this every year until they graduate from high school. I will keep every year in a special box and when they graduate, we will have a nice little history. Our own way of keeping a journal. And each child's can be stored in a very small container because there is nothing bulky or big about what we are storing.

Simple, fun, and memorable. It doesn't get better than that.

How do you keep your memories?

How do you ring in the new school year?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Wiggly Spoons

2011-08-19T00:05:00.000-06:00

Even though school is starting up again, and things are about to get busy, it is still really important to find time to do things together as a family. Here's a new game for your family to try. For more ideas, but sure to click on the Family Fun Friday label in the sidebar.

Wiggly Spoons

All you need...

Spoons

(Plastic or Metal. Metal is easier)

String
Anything will do

This game is great for any age, and any number of players, but, more players are really fun.

Decide if each person is going to be their own team, or if you will have teams. Two or more per team is great.

Tie a LOOOOOOOOONG piece of string to the end of each spoon.

If you are playing in teams....you will need one spoon with string for each team.
The first person has to take the spoon and drop it down their shirt. Then they have to wiggle and jiggle to get the spoon through their shirt and then through their jeans/pants/shorts/dress, what ever they have on. Once it has passed through all of their clothing they can pick up the spoon and pass it to the next person on their team. They have to do the same thing, over and over until the very last person on the team is done. The team that is "connected" from first to last, wins.

If you are playing as individuals... you will need one spoon with string for each person
The rules are exactly the same, except you don't pass to the next person. Instead you are racing one another to see who can pass the spoon on a string through their clothes the fastest.

Remember...
No touching the spoon once you have dropped it down your shirt, until it comes out the bottom of your pants/shorts etc...and you pick it up to pass it to your team mate.

You have to wiggle and jiggle to get the spoon to move.

You are allowed to touch your clothes with your hands. For example, you can pull your waistband to allow room for the spoon to fall through.

Don't leave the little kids out. They love this game. To make it a little easier, let them use their hands to work the spoon through their clothes. Our two year old thinks it is the best.

Don't forget a video camera. It is pretty funny to watch everyone jumping up and down to get that spoon to move.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?
ANY LAST MINUTE SUMMER PLANS?

He Said...She Said...Tips for back to school

2011-08-15T21:43:00.000-06:00

Our daughters first day of Kindergarten (August 2010)

Hard to believe that the summer is coming to a close. Last night at dinner my husband commented that this has been his favorite summer ever. I might have to agree. We have taken things slow. Enjoyed our new little girl, and left all we could undone, as to not rush back into crazy family life. It has been wonderful.

School starts for the kids next Monday and I will be very sad to see them go. I love having them home. I love not having to be anywhere specific. Our two oldest will both be at school all day this year and I will have our three year old and newborn at home. It will be an adjustment, but we are ready to settle back into the routine, BLOGGING INCLUDED, thanks for your patience. :)

Last week I told the kids that we were getting back into our routine. That included bedtime. We didn't let it slide too much over the summer, but a little. We have more adjusting to do in the morning than at night. Our mornings are pretty lazy around here. It is time to start the routine and get used to it before the first day.

That is what I said...

Then, yesterday I overheard my husband telling the kids that this was the last week of summer so they could live it up. Staying up later to ride bikes, go for walks, watch a favorite show, what ever they wanted.

That is what he said....

We talked about it after he took them on a bike ride and they got in bed two hours after they were supposed to. He hit me with "they are only young once", and "soon it will be Winter and they won't be able to go outside and ride bikes at all", as well as "they will be fine, you worry to much, relax."

That is not the first time we have disagreed on something. I am sure it won't be the last. :)

Regardless of what he says...There are some key things we can do this week, to make the first week of school more successful.

1. Get YOUR good attitude ready.
If we have a good attitude, so will our children. No scoffs or scowls. No complaints about getting up early, or driving, or packing lunches. Be happy, excited, and talk about all the great things that come with school and learning. This also means keeping our emotions at bay. If your child is going to kindergarten and you are sad, try to keep your tears to private time. Even tears of joy worry children. You don't want your five your old to think they should stay home so you won't cry.

2. Turn off the TV (especially in the mornings).
Instead, have your children color, do puzzles, write stories, play games, read or read to them, etc...This will get their brains working and concentrating again. It will also help their attention spans. In a few short days they are going to have to sit and focus and self motivate. Help them start doing that now.

3. Establish a sleeping and eating schedule. (even if your hubby disagrees.)
For the next week, be sure that bed times and wake up times, as well as meal times follow your upcoming school schedule. First, it will keep your kids rested so that the first few days are not too overwhelming. Remember, everything is more stressful when we are tired. And it will start to condition their bodies to the new times. The meal times are really important also. It you have been eating lunch at 11 all summer, but they won't eat until 12:15 when they are at school, their little bodies will be huuuungry. Feed them at the appropriate times so they are adjusted.

4. Round up the necessary school supplies.
Not only will you be ready, but kids worry about having what they need. For most kids, waiting until the last minute to pack those supplies makes them worry. Do your best to check off the supply list early this week so that your youngsters don't loose sleep over it. An added bonus...your kids won't keep asking every ten minutes when you are going to go get the school supplies because you will already have them.

5. Attend back to school night...visit the school.
This one is really important. Attend back to school night so your children can meet their teachers, see where they are sitting, and get an overall feel of how things work. While you are there, run through the library, playground, lunch room, meeting places for drop off and pick up and anything else they are curious about. Don't rush, so that you children can ask questions and get answers. They will feel much better if they know what to expect and where to go that first day.

6. Practice.
At least once, twice if you can, take a practice run. Set the alarms, get up, go through the routine, and drive to school. See how things go and trouble shoot any problems. Maybe you need to move where you put the backpacks, or it takes a little longer to drive to school than you thought. Go through the motions and help your kids understand what has to be done each morning to be on time.

7. Find out who else is in your child's class.
Here in Utah, class lists go up tomorrow. We will be looking to see if our kids know any of their class mates. If they do, great, explain that they already know someone. That will ease their mind. If they don't, and your children are worried, think about contacting a few of the children and maybe getting together at the park so they can meet and make friends. Then, on the first day, when they walk in, they will be surrounded by friends, not strangers.

8. Clear OUR schedule the first week of school.
Try to clear your schedule the first week of school so that you are available for your kids. Even if they are not going to a new school, the first week is still stressful. If possible, have a lot of down time after school where you are there to listen if they need to talk. Keep your schedule free from obligations so that you are there to help.

SO.... who's side are you on?

DO YOU LIVE IT UP THE LAST WEEK OF SUMMER

SETTLE IN TO YOUR ROUTINE?

Even if you live it up, I won't hold it against you. ;)

Choices

2011-07-25T23:08:00.000-06:00

This week I had two choices.

Sleep OR Blogging

Using my best judgement, I chose sleep.

Bear with me, things will get more regular around here.

4 is a different number than 3.

2011-07-19T10:42:00.001-06:00

Where has the time gone? I was sure I would want back on the computer right away. I even took my lap top to the hospital and thought I would check emails and write a post the night she was born.

Then she was born.

I wasn't concerned with anything www related. I didn't even turn on my computer for almost two weeks after she was born. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It has been wonderful. Time filled with family, excited siblings, and quiet hours in the night when she stares at me with big blue eyes as she nurses. I stare back in awe. There has been more peace, more kindness and a stronger sense of love and unity that only comes from bringing a newborn into the home. There has been more service and more compassion.

We have all perfected our baby voices, and yesterday our almost 3 year old exclaimed...

"I love our new baby. Thank you mom and dad for the new baby".

"We love her too", is all I could say. I fought back tears (hormones are still settling in my system), and thanked my Heavenly Father for these sweet children. Then I recommitted to love them better.

I was talking to my brother a few days after she was born. He asked the million dollar question. The question every one asks.

Are 4 children harder than 3?

For my husband and I, the jump from 1 to 2 children was the hard one. I thought for a moment, and answered with "4 is a different number than 3".

He made fun of me for the next few minutes. Mocking the obviousness of my statement.

"Yes Heather", he said... "4 is a different number than 3, we learned that in kindergarten".

And it is. 4 is different, but I don't think it has necessarily been harder because the number is now 4.

It is more complicated because there is a newborn in the house, not because there is another child in the house. Having my hands tied up because I am feeding her. Adding extra time to everything because she has to be fed before we go out. Keeping our voices down because she is sleeping. Those types of things add a new dimension to our home. Not necessarily harder, just different.

That said, our two oldest children are such big helpers, and... they are able to do so much for themselves. We all work together.

4 is a different number than 3.

4 is my new favorite number.

What number was your hardest? The jump from 1 to 2, or maybe 3 to 4?

p.s. It feels good to be back. I can't wait to hear how your summers are going.

We Have Grown - By 19 1/2 inches

2011-06-06T00:20:00.001-06:00

She's a Sweetheart

6 pounds 12 Ounces

We are all doing great.

Thank you for the well wishes.

A few more days and we should be up and running here on Family Volley again.

We are enjoying a little quiet time together.

This is the Week!

2011-05-23T00:20:00.000-06:00

Guess what we are doing this week?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY- Penny in a Pinch!

2011-05-20T00:20:00.001-06:00

Penny in a Pinch

Prepare to laugh.

All you need to play this game is...

Some Pennies

A Wide Mouth Jar

***How to Play***

Two players at a time, start at opposite sides of the jar. About 10 feet away.

On GO, each player walks to the jar with their PENNY BETWEEN THEIR KNEES and tries to drop it inside the jar.

If the penny is dropped that player has to go back to their start line and start again.

The first to get their penny in the jar wins.

You can have one winner for each pair, or keep playing winners against each other until there is just one winner left.

You can also set a time limit and see how many pennies each person can get in the jar in the set amount of time.

If you have a lot of people playing, turn it into a relay race. The team to get all their pennies in the jar first, wins.

For young children, forgo the knees and just have them run to the jar and try to drop the penny in from shoulder height, arm outstretched.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?

WE HAVE LOTS OF PREPARATIONS TO MAKE. NEXT WEEK IS A BIG WEEK FOR OUR FAMILY. I WILL FILL YOU IN IN A FEW.

STOP the Backtalk!

2011-05-16T23:14:00.000-06:00

"No"

"Your not the boss of me"

"Do it yourself"

Any of this sound familiar?

It doesn't matter our children's age, toddlers to teenagers. Backtalk is a parent's nightmare.

So what can we do to make this most frustrating of problems stop.

First, we need to understand why kids talk back. If we can understand why our kids are acting the way they are, we can better understand what we need to do to help.
Some of the most common reasons for back talk are...

Kids are looking to have control over their lives. As parents, if we are always demanding, and constantly ordering our kids around, we take away their personal power and independence. They talk back to try and regain some of that control.

Kids test our limits. They are looking to get a reaction out of us. They are exerting power and looking to see how we will respond.

Kids feel helpless, SO, the only way they feel they can fight back, is by talking back. They know they are dependent on us as parents and that we make the rules. The helpless feeling leads them to try to negotiate, talk back, argue, slam doors, roll their eyes and stomp off.

Kids are trying to exert their independence. It doesn't matter our children's age, they are always seeking independence.

It is vital to understand the why, but what can we do after that?

Look at our own actions

We need to reevaluate how we are talking to, and treating our children. Are our words and tone of voice bossy and demanding? Do we give orders to our children?

We are quick to point the finger at our children, but very often, we are the ones setting the bad example and encouraging the back talking.

Do we Back talk?

Most often, yes. When our children talk back, do we respond by doing the same? Do responses such as "How dare you talk to me that way!", or "You will do it because I said so!" come out of our mouths? These type of reactions only make the problem worse and perpetuate the back talk. Our responses teach our children how to back talk. And we wonder where they learn these things?

It is not about winning the conversation or fight, it is about recognizing that our children are looking for more control over their lives, and we need to find a way to give them more power, but keep them within the boundaries we have set in our home.

Let the children choose

No one likes to be told what to do all the time. Put yourself in your child's shoes. They are told when to sleep, when and what to eat, what to wear, how long they can play...etc...Their lives are filled with other people telling them exactly what they can and can not do. If someone did that to us, we would talk back too.

Children need to feel like they are making some of their own choices. Plus, they are more likely to behave when they have made their own choices. They feel ownership because they got to choose. For small children this means they get to choose between the blue shirt or the green one. Or they get to choose if they want to read the bedtime story before they brush their teeth or after. Keep the choices reasonable and within their abilities (by age and development.) Remember, this works for things as difficult as talking back about dinner and vegetables.

Give them enough attention

All kids need attention. Some need more than others. And every child needs to be given attention in different ways. Our son feels adequate attention when we listen to him. Our daughter on the other hand, she feels adequate attention when we play with her. If our kids don't get enough positive attention, they will work to get negative attention. To them it is still attention. And, negative attention is better than no attention at all.

So... we need to put down the laundry and the computer and anything else that is in the way and give them more attention. Even 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted attention each day (per child) is usually enough to make them feel satisfied. Get down on their level and really listen, really be involved. When our kids feel they are getting enough attention, they will be much less likely to act out and will be more cooperative. What parent doesn't want that?!

Make things clear

It is important that the rules, and consequences for breaking rules, are clear in our homes. We also need to make sure that the consequences are enforced when rules are broken. If kids do break the rules, WE HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH EVERY TIME. We don't have to be mean, but we do have to be fair and consistent. Not setting clear rules and consequences first, will confuse kids when they get in trouble for something the didn't know was wrong. When kids get confused they will talk back and fight back.

Don't overreact

Our kids talk back to get a response out of us. When we get upset and respond by "talking back to them", they have the power. Instead, we need to stay calm, and explain what will happen next.

"I feel disrespected when you talk to me that way. I am going to leave now. I will be happy to talk to you when you are ready to use a kind voice and respectful words."

Then, really walk away.

The next time your child talks back, don't explain yourself again, you have already done that. Simply stay calm, don't show emotion, and walk away. Your kids will quickly come to understand that you have no intention of participating in that kind of behavior.

Kids are going to push our buttons and try to see what they can get away with. This is not behavior that we want to let go. It will take extra energy and effort on our part, but it will be worth it.

DO YOUR KIDS TALK BACK?

IS IT HARD FOR YOU TO ENFORCE CONSEQUENCES?

Guest Post - What is True For You?

2011-05-12T06:47:00.000-06:00

Today's guest post is from Kimber Nelson, a certified Life Coach and Family Volley Sponsor.

Kimer challenges us to focus on the positive and evaluate why we "do what we do".

One of the great things about coaching is that I am always learning, and no matter how much I know, there is always value in others perspectives and experiences.
But...here's the thing...there is still no one else who has had your unique life experiences, your support system, your challenges and your strengths.

What I do know is that Coaching provides a safe place to explore and build goals and habits that will create YOUR ideal life. There is no requirement for what the ideal life looks like. Only that you are able to show up as the real YOU, with passion and joy in the every day living.
This is exactly why no one can give you a blueprint on how to get there, but I can absolutely help you find the awareness of what YOUR ideal life looks like and support you in taking action on your journey.

I want to share some ideas on living a more balanced life and reducing the overwhelming and stressful feelings we all deal with.

Focus on the Positive - there is always a tendency to assume that if we expend our energy on "fixing" problems, that once we are "fixed", everything else will fall into place. We end up focusing on the negative in everything, and once you start looking for issues, you are guaranteed to find them!

Here is the fabulous part - the reverse is also true. When you focus on the positive you will find evidence of it everywhere. The more evidence of something you have, the more you end up trusting that it is true and it starts to build. When you see the positive, things that used to need "fixing" feel more like opportunities for adjustment.

Turn "Have to's" into "Want to's" - A great way to focus on the positive is to take some time to discover your values and why you do the things you do. This will turn something from an energy drain into a more supportive place. You might also find that the reason that you do something is because you acquired a "have to" from someone else (like your parents).
If it does not fit into what YOU want in your life, then it may not be worth putting energy or time into anymore.

A great example of this is...Chores around the house.

Ask yourself the following questions.

Why do I want my house kept a certain way?

Is there value to it for me and my family? Is there added tension about chores being done a certain way? Is is worth it?

Was I told along the way that certain things HAD to be done? How true is that for me?

Are there things that I am okay letting go of?

Now, I am not advocating just letting the house disintegrate into piles upon piles. What I am promoting is becoming aware of the "why's". Perhaps your "why" for keeping the house clean is because you get a feeling of serenity when you walk in the door, which is a great motivating "want to".

Take a minute to think about why you do what you do?

How often are we doing things to meet other's expectations?

Kimber Nelson is certified as a Professional LIfe Coach through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching and as an ADHD Life Coach. Kimber works with parents, adults teens and college students with ADHD who are looking to live a less stressful, more balanced life.

Heather is Taking the Night Off!

2011-05-11T00:00:00.000-06:00

Heather's Husband here. Today is her birthday and she is being forced to take the night off. She deserves it.

Thanks for understanding,

Billy

Taking Our Stress Out on Our Kids?

2011-05-09T00:00:00.004-06:00

As mothers, it seems we are constantly trying to juggle a million responsibilities. With these responsibilities comes stress, a lot of stress.
Enter children, and before we know it, we are taking all our stress out on them. Isn't it interesting, we often treat strangers and coworkers better than our own family.

Take a few minutes to figure out what is causing the stress. Are we tired, overwhelmed, money trouble, marriage stress or work stress? Maybe we have just had a long day. Regardless, Stress is going to happen, and we should do all we can to avoid taking it out on our children. They don't understand what we are dealing with and it is not their fault.

On top of that, dumping our stress on our children is not the answer either. We don't need to tell them all our woes. They can't fix it, they don't understand it, and at their age, they don't need to be stressed and worried about grown up problems.

So.. What can we do?

Focus on our children - Don't Multitask
When we have a lot to do, and a lot on our minds, it is easy to think that multitasking is the answer. When we are trying to make dinner, help kids with homework, fold laundry, AND listen to our 5 year old talk about their day, everything else will be more important than what happened at recess. We take our frustrations and stress out on our children because they are making it hard for us to get EVERYTHING ELSE done. The laundry can wait, and so can dinner. Sit down with your child. Give them your undivided attention and focus on their words and their facial expressions. Not only will it bring you closer, but we won't see them as a stress, we will see them as the children we love more than anything. Remember LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E.

Establish a routine
We need to put our families and children on a routine. With a routine, we will know what to expect and so will our children. This will eliminate a lot of stress that comes from the unknown and from struggles with bed time and meal time. Our children will be better behaved when things are predictable. This mean less stress triggers for us as mothers.

Minimize
Minimize the stuff in our homes. When we have more than we can maintain, even if it is just too many clothes, everything becomes overwhelming and stressful. We will quickly take our stress out on our children. Work to make the spaces in our lives manageable. Give away, throw out, and get rid of. The clutter in our homes and cars becomes overwhelming and makes the other stresses seem even worse.

Don't Over Schedule
We shouldn't over schedule ourselves or our children. To many things on our family plates will always bring stress. Our kids don't need to be involved in a million extra curricular activities, and we don't have to say yes to every play date and activity. We need to PROTECT our families time. This protection will bring peace and time together. Plus there will be less rushing. Rushing compounds stress.

Have Realistic Expectations
We don't have to be super women. And, we SHOULD NOT COMPARE OURSELVES TO OTHER MOMS. We need to be realistic about what we can tackle and undertake. When we start comparing we tend to see everyone else's strengths and our weaknesses. It is never a fair comparison. We should surround ourselves with people and things that are supportive and uplifting. Not things that make us feel inadequate.

Put Ourselves in our Children's Shoes
As mothers, we need to take a minute to see things from our children's perspectives. Have empathy. Realize they don't mean to upset us. They are young, learning, and inquisitive. They don't know rush, hurry, or quick. If we can take just a second and see things from their eyes, we will not be so quick to take our frustrations out on them.

See our Children as People
When we are stressed, it is easy to see our children as objects. Objects that are keeping us from what we are trying to do. We are trying to make dinner, or answer the phone, or fold the laundry and their need for help or attention is getting in the way. We need to see them as people. Little people. They have thoughts and hopes and dreams and good days and bad days just like us. It is the laundry that is actually getting in the way of us being with our kids, Right?

Manage our Time
Clique, I know, but vital. Time management is so important to our lives. We do need to stay organized and manage our responsibilities and the time it takes to get things done.

Plan Ahead
This goes right along with managing our time. Being prepared and planning ahead will help eliminate a lot of our family stress. Make lunches for school the night before, lay out clothes the night before, even set the breakfast table before you go to bed each night. Round up backpacks and school work, shoes and socks before everyone goes to sleep. Make reasonable preparations to eliminate having to rush. Rushing brings stress, especially with children.

Have a Sense of Humor
Laugh. When you are ready to loose your temper with your children because you are stressed, laugh first. Even if you have to force yourself. You will find it fixes a lot of things.

Find Time For Yourself
As mother's we are always taking care of other people. We forget to take care of ourselves. We should pick one or two things we would like to learn or get better at, hobbies or interest, and find time for them. Along with this, we need to eat right, exercise, even if it is just a walk around the block, and get enough sleep. When we are hungry and tired we loose our temper and take our frustrations out on our kids.

Play together as a Family
We have to find time to recreate and relax together as a family. Life needs to be filled with work and play. When families play together they grow closer, develop stronger relationships, and have more patience for one another. Plus it is a needed diversion from the stress we deal with each day. Find time at least once a week to do something fun together (this doesn't mean it has to cost money).

Stress is part of life. Taking it out on our kids doesn't have to be.

DO YOU EVER CATCH YOURSELF TAKING YOUR STRESS OUT ON YOUR KIDS?
HOW DO YOU MANAGE YOUR STRESS?

Hello to the SITSahood!

2011-05-06T00:00:00.007-06:00

We interrupt our regularly scheduled FAMILY FUN FRIDAY for a very important announcement.

TODAY IS MY SITS DAY!

Thank you so much for stopping by.

I hope you will take a look around. There is lots to see.

Around here we are helpful, funny, and fantastic. Whether it's parenting, relationships, motherhood, you name it, we chat about it. And, it's all in the name of love.

You can find great advice for your families under the ADVICE label in the right side bar.

You can find tons of great unique activities for your families, big or small, old or young, under the FAMILY FUN FRIDAY label.

If you have a question about something specific, check the label line up or click here to leave me any questions you would like answered.

I am so excited to meet all of you.

Don't forget to say hello.

Interested in more from Family Volley? Subscribe, Follow, Like, Tweet, or Email. It is all in the right side bar.

Have a wonderful weekend, and a Happy Mother's Day.

Thanks for visiting.

Taking Baby Steps

2011-05-03T09:54:00.003-06:00

I always get questions from concerned parents who think their children should "already be walking". As parents we really worry about our child's physical development. It is easy to look around and compare our children to other children who are already on the move. Or compare them to their siblings. We have to remember that every child is different. They will develop and decide to move when they are ready. For the most part, we need not worry. Instead, we want to enjoy every little development and stage.
That said, here are some GENERAL GUIDELINES for mobile development. I hope they provide some piece of mind.

Birth to 3 Months
Squirmers
When babies are first born they don't know how to tell their muscles that they want to move around. Although they will move arms and legs, turn their heads when they are laying on their backs, and can bring their hands to their mouths, these are responses to their environment, more than they are deliberate movements and commands. For new little ones to develop more advanced motions, they have to build their core strength. This means they need TUMMY TIME. Tummy time should start as soon as you return from the hospital. Put your baby on his/her belly a few times a day. By 3 months, they should spend about 1 hour a day on their tummies. This time can be broken up into increments. Some babies don't like tummy time. Be sure your baby is awake and has been fed, and if they continue to fight, try putting them across your legs on your lap. That counts also. You will quickly see their strength grow as their raise their little heads and build their stomach muscles.

3 to 5 Months
All about the Head
At this age babies have started to realize they can move their arms and legs. The tummy time has helped them develop their core and they will most likely be holding their heads up or even trying to rest their heads on their forearms now and again. They love attention for their movements and will respond to positive reinforcement. There is increased hand eye coordination and you will probably catch them trying to "swing" at objects that hang above them. During these months, lots of babies will also start to roll. Front to back is always the easiest, and most likely what you will see first. Followed by back to front. You don't want to leave little ones unsupervised because you never know when they will start to roll. You don't want them to fall off the bed or the couch.

5 To 8 Months
Time to Sit Up
About this time, babies are starting to sit up on their own. Especially if you put them in a high chair. When you put them on the floor without back support, they will usually lean forward and use their hands to keep their balance. Between 7 and 8 months, most babies sit unassisted.

These months might also bring the Army Crawl. Using their forearms to drag themselves across the floor. Don't be alarmed to see your little one find their own way of moving. There is no right or wrong way of doing things. Forward, backwards, one armed, it doesn't matter. Give positive reinforcement and praise. The positive things we say will inspire our children to keep learning to move. Be sure you keep small objects out of your babies way, and that electrical outlets etc, are safe from little fingers.

8 To 12 Months
Up On Their Feet
Around 9 months, most children are crawling on their hands an knees. Have you ever heard that a baby should crawl before they walk, or something is wrong with them? Not true. Crawling helps babies become stronger so they can eventually walk, but there are lots of ways for them to become strong. Pulling themselves up to a standing position, standing and walking while holding someones hand, and balancing on their own once they have pulled up. All these things build strength. This age is a great time to invest in a good pull toy. It will help your child's balance and control as they begin to walk on their own. It is also a good time to get down to your child's level and see what they see. Are there any sharp corners that their heads will run into while they are walking?

12 To 15 Months
Always Moving
By this point, most little ones are walking, and trying to climb up onto things. It is a good time to teach them what they should climb on and what they shouldn't. Setting these guidelines early will help make the next few years a lot easier for everyone. It is also a good time to teach kids to hold hands. As silly as this may sound, if you want your child to hold your hand when you cross streets, or go places, teach them young. It will help you avoid the hand holding fights later on. Play lots of new games and activities that let your kids move and groove.

We don't want to compare, or put excess pressure on our children when it comes to mobility. They will get moving, in their own time.

DO YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR CHILD'S PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE STAGE, CRAWLING, WALKING, MOVING LITTLE HEADS?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Bouncer Ball

2011-04-29T00:20:00.001-06:00

OBJECTIVE

Land the most Ping-Pong balls in a plastic cup with one bounce per ball.

Don't miss the variation at the bottom for smaller families and groups.

MATERIALS

Ping Pong Balls

(One Per Person)

Plastic Cups

(one per person)

HOW TO PLAY

1. Form teams of 2 players each.

2. One person sits 3 feet away from the cup, while the other person sits on the opposite side of the cup to retrieve the ping pong ball and count points.

3. Everyone has 1 minute to get their ball into their cup as many times as possible.

TO DO THIS: the ball has to bounce once on the ground and then land in the cup and stay there. If the ball bounces out of the cup, it does not count as a point.

EVERY TIME THE BALL BOUNCES AND STAYS IN THE CUP, THAT TEAMS RECEIVES 1 POINT.

4. Pairs switch who throws and retrieves, and the round is repeated.

5. The points from both partner's turns are added up for a final team score.

The team with the most points, WINS!

VARIATION

With smaller families and groups, pairing off into teams might not be what you want to do. Instead, set all the cups up in a straight line. Have each person take a turn trying to get a ping pong ball into every cup. You can time them to see how many they can get in a certain amount of time, or you can see how long it takes each person to get a ball in every cup. Have one person bouncing the balls, one person timing, and everyone else retrieving the "missed" ping pong balls.

You can also set the cups up at different heights and distances to make the game harder or easier for different ages.

What does your family have planned for the weekend?

I hope yours is sunny. It's rain and snow for us.

Bullying-Consider This!

2011-04-26T00:00:00.002-06:00

Studies estimate that almost one in three American school children is either a bully or a victim and that

160,000 children a day skip school because they fear being attacked or intimidated by other students.

Bullying is real, it is an ongoing problem, and it will most likely happen to all our children at some point in time.

As parents, we all worry about our children being teased, taunted, and bullied.

So what do we do...

First, we realize, that no matter what we do, OUR KIDS WILL FACE CONFRONTATION in their lives. In school, in college, in the work place, in their neighborhoods, in marriage. Confrontation is part of life. We have to prepare them for it.

Then, we need to...

Start talking to our children young

Waiting until our kids are bullied is not a good time to start addressing the issue. Children who feel embarrassed or humiliated about being bullied are very unlikely to come home and share how they feel. Instead they will withdraw and suffer alone. Make it clear to your children that you are always there to listen, and that you know bullying can happen. Use situations and find ways to bring up the subject and discuss it when they are young.

Listen to our children

When our kids try and talk to us, we have to listen. They will drop little hints when there are bullying problems. It is easy to miss the cues when we are not really listening to what is being said. When our kids talk to us, we need to put everything else aside and really be in the moment to listen.

Role Play

Give your children different scenarios and teach them how to handle them. "What do you do if...?" Go through each situation and teach them what to say and do. It will empower them, and when they are faced with the bully they wont be as intimidated because they will have had experience and practiced what to do.

Teach Conflict Resolution

We have to teach our children how to deal with conflict and confrontation. Teach them to manage their anger, communicate, and listen. Teach them how to compromise and be patient. This is done through everyday life situations and role play. As conflict happens in your home, between siblings, use it to teach. We also must be good examples of conflict resolution in our own adult lives.

Give them a hobby, interest, sport, talent, where they can excel.

We should involve our children in healthy activities where they find success. Something they like, that challenges them and where they can excel. Whether it is sports, a hobby or an interest. These activities will boost their self confidence. They teach children how to solve problems, deal with others and speak their minds.

Research teaches us that helping your children build their self confidence is one of the best defenses against bullying.

Teach Empathy

As parents, we need to model kind, gentle behavior for our children. They learn by watching us. Be sure that the other adults and kids that are around our children demonstrate empathy as well. We need to teach our kids to try to understand other's points of view and to feel compassion towards others. If we are always raising our voices, showing impatience, and arguing, they will do the same.

Let kids work things out on their own.

As parents we can be very quick to step in and stop the arguing and disagreements between our children. We decide who we think is entitled to "winning" and then go about our business, happy with ourselves because the arguing and disagreeing has stopped. We need to let our children work out their own disagreements. If we will sit back and watch, they will almost always be able to solve their own problems. These family situations are the perfect place for them to practice working through conflict when dealing with others.

Don't dismiss verbal abuse.

Just because the bullying is verbal, doesn't mean it hurts any less. Verbal bullying leads to the same negative effects as physical bullying. High levels of emotional distress, loneliness, lower self esteem, depression and anxiety. Acknowledge your children's complaints and concerns.

When is it okay to teach our children to fight?

Teach that it is never okay to fight. For the most part, nothing good comes of fighting. Fighting is not the answer.

That said, we need to teach our children that they stand up for themselves in self defense. They should know that if they need to defend themselves because they are being, or going to be physically attacked, then they defend themselves. And, that if they do have to fight in self defense, that you will understand. They need to know that they always defend themselves if/when things turn physical.

Get Dad involved.

Involved dads make a huge difference in the confidence of their children. Dads need to not only model strength and confidence, but sympathy and empathy. If there is not a dad that fills this role for your children, seek out a strong male role model who can help.

Parents can do so much to help their children deal with bullying and not become bullies. Start early with your preparations.

HAS YOUR CHILD BEEN BULLIED?
WERE YOU EVER BULLIED AS A CHILD? AS AN ADULT?

Left Over Easter Candy

2011-04-25T00:20:00.001-06:00

I hope all of you had a wonderful Easter Sunday.

Now that the holiday is over, it is time to get back to real life, Monday, schedules, and responsibilities.

It also means that we wake up tomorrow to leftover Easter Candy.

We always have Peeps left over after Easter. Mostly because I am the only one who eats them. I like to bring the packages home, cut the plastic open, and let them sit for a day or two. I like them "just stale". Fresh and soft Peeps are not my thing.

These two recipes would be a great way for your family to use up some of those left over Peeps. (Perfect for Family Night Treats).

Peeps Rice Krispie Treats.

What you Need...

35 Peeps (Multiple colors)

6 cups Rice Krispies

3 tablespoons Margarine (you can also use butter)

In a large pot, melt your butter. Add your peeps and try not to mix too much if you are using different colors. Melt them in separate color sections within your pot. Take the pot off the heat when your marshmallows are melted.

Add your Rice Krispie cereal. Stir until everything is coated.

Spray a 9X13 pan with cooking spray. Butter your hands and press the mixture into the pan. Let them cool, and either cut them into squares, or use cookie cutters to cut them into fun shapes.

Eat eat eat.

Peeps S'mores

Image courtesy of Steamy Kitchen

What you need...
Peeps (Bunnies or Chicks)
Graham Crackers
Chocolate Bars

These are so easy.
Take your Graham crackers, add a few squares of chocolate, and top it with a Peep. Microwave for 15 seconds, and eat. If you really want to have fun with these, ROAST your Peeps first, just like a marshmallow. Then add them to your chocolate and graham crackers.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR PEEPS, SOFT OR STALE?
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH LEFTOVER EASTER CANDY?

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